where the writers are
FRIENDS ON THE INTERNET
my cat,just chillin

I have been thinking alot about  how the concept of friendship is changing as a result of the internet.Now dont get me wrong,I enjoy facebook as much as the next person,as it helps me while away lonely hours at night while my DH is watching sports or working.But there are several observations I have made,learning the hard way.

1)it is easier to say anything you want to someone you are not talking with face to face

2)friendships are made quickly,but when the going gets tough the tough get going.In other words,they are "fairweather friends" but if you rub them the wrong way,even just a little bit,they are outta there!

3) facebook is good for finding like minded people;politically,and spiritually,as well as mutual interests.This does away with "trial and error" in finding like minds. But sometimes they are just "talking the talk,not walking the walk"

 with "real friends" in real time,you get to know them slowly,you share a little bit at a time,feelilng them out to see if its safe to proceed with the friendship.And when you find it is,they are there for you,in real time because they know and love you.they have seen your facial expressions and body language when you share,as opposed to writing on a page.This,in itself,helps you gauge whether they are legit or just have an agenda.

I have both kinds of friends.but I know that my real time friends will always be there for me,as I will be for them.The internet goes along with our throwaway society,and I have trouble with that.  Not too long ago I connected to someone on the internet and we really connected.I thought this would be a lifeong friendship.WE had alot in common,both being sensitive and artistic.And me,hungry for such a connection,went all out.I could understand exactly where he was coming from,having shared similar experiences.But,alas,when he shared something deeply personal with me and I responded with acceptance and love,because I understood,he cut and ran.

Recently,I have made another such friend,tho not nearly as intense.But I have learned something.I will never be held emotionally captive by a man again.Ever! so the other night this guy got mad because i was nudging him to write back.so I allowed myslef to fume for about 1/2 hr,grounded myself,then wrote him back that I could not take in his anger,even though I understood he was stressed.I got an apology,but not much else.The old me would keep writing,begging for a reesponse back,but today I am holding on to my pride,and not writing him a thing until he shows me the respect I deserve!

I would do this with a "real friend".so if he feels I am worth it,I will feel he is worth it.

Nough said.