My daughter is sixteen and loves me and hates me at the same time. I only know this is possible because I feel the same way towards her. Maybe hate is a strong word. Lets use the word, dislike. As much as I try and hide my exasperation, anger, and perplexed attitude towards her at times it comes through.
One minute I am the best mother in the world, and the next she wishes I was not her mother. I guess I am strict, mean, embarrassing, willful, and have zero compassion and empathy towards what she is going through. Are you asking what is she going through? I will tell you, absolutely nothing!
The problem is I have no tolerance for her attitude and behavior because I have nothing to base her reactions and attitudes on. My mother was dead when I was a teenager. My only wish was to have a mother that was alive and loving. Lord knows I wouldn't have treated her with such disdain. Or would I have treated her like a visitor entering my room every time she stepped over the threshold entering into my palace, where I, the princess spent 98% of my time? I would hope to God I wouldn't have done that had I had the chance to dismiss my mother, but according to my girlfriends that is exactly what I would have done. It seems they all did it to their mothers. I guess my mother was saved by an early death at the age of twenty six. She was spared being treated like the maid, the chaufeur and the laundry gal by her two daughters.
Here we are now, prom week. The $275 dress is bought. The $50 shoes are shined and waiting for Cinderella to slip her most elegant feet into. The bra pads have been sewed into the dress for a mere $35. The limo is rented, and all that was left for the prom to be a success was the hair.
Oh, the hair. You all have no idea. Thursday was the haircut at 3:15. Jessica did a wonderful trimming the edges to perfection. Cinderella asked her bitchy mother, me, if she could get another highlight to make her hair a bit lighter. I, the bitchy mother, let out a hearty laugh. Cinderella did not appreciate my laugh, so I was summoned down to step-mother status. My daughter decided she was going to go behind my back and get her hair lightened.
I called her at 6:15 last night to find out what her and the other prom princesses were having for dinner. She let me know she was in a chair getting her hair dyed. I laughed, said I won't pay, and don't call me crying. Forty three minutes later my cell phone rang. My daughter was screaming and crying. I asked, "Is one of your brothers hurt? What happened? Did you get in a car accident?" She screamed, "My hair is orange!" I repied, "Is that all? I will take a look at in the morning and decide if it needs to be fixed." She screamed, I laughed, she screamed louder, I laughed louder, and she finally hung up on me.
I went to my ex-husband's house this morning. It didn't look good, but it wasn't that bad. I told her she did this without my permission, got my ex to pay for it, she will live with it. I went to the boys baseball game and then picked up Cindy for her updo appointment.
Ah, yes, the updo. The updo only cost $95. She got in the car after her appointment. I said, "Oh, honey, I love it!" She said, "I hate it and I don't even know why I am going to the prom." I said, "Me either! Why are you going? Why are you miserable on this gorgeous day? Maybe if you pay me the $500 this is costing me you would feel better about going. Maybe if you realized there are girls out there borrowing dresses, shoes and getting their hair done by the blind neighbor you would feel better about going. Here is what I am going to do Cindy Cinderella, I am going to make you pay half of your prom cost so you can really appreciate the day. You owe me $250. I will take your payment in the form of cash, kitchen cleaning, laundry duty, litter box removal, dog waste discardment, or you can rub my feet ten times for $25 an hour!"
Whew, the reaction was comical, and extraordinarily entertaining. I am still laughing. I am off to shower. I have to be at the princess palace at 4:30 to do all the make-up for all the Cindy's attending the prom.
By the way, you betcha, she is paying for half. No one is going to get away with that attitude and no gratitude in my house!
Causes Heather Hogan Supports
Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation
Breast Cancer Awareness