For someone who works better under pressure, I really can't seem to handle stress. I ended up yelling at my kids this morning and it wasn't even over something important. Well, let me rephrase that... it was trivial in the whole scheme of things but this morning it was important enough to have me erupting like Mount St. Helen. My youngest then came to me and said, "Mama, why don't you go have some more coffee?" Out of the mouth of babes!
My husband has been pressuring me for some time to go back to work, but I'm not quite sure how to fit it into my schedule. Since we live a few miles from school, I spend nearly an hour and a half of my day in the car running the girls to and fro. We all also have serious food allergies and I can't really eat anything prefabricated so that means I spend somewhere between two and three hours each day in the kitchen prepping, cooking, and cleaning. Housework takes some time out of my day, as does yard work or snow removal (all of which I do myself). I'm not complaining about being a housewife, I just don't know how to fit anything else in.
I watched Randy Pausch's 'Last Lecture" today and if you haven't seen it, watch it. <a href="http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/"target="_blank">Randy Pausch's Home Page</a> One thing that really knocked it home for me in this lecture was Pausch's insight into brick walls. "Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things." If I'm honest with myself, I'll admit that I don't really want to work outside my home and that's probably why I find too many other things to occupy my day.
I did get a job this past week, writing and illustrating a short story for a magazine. It was geared toward children (tweens) and I found that I really enjoyed myself while creating it. It also feels amazing to know I'm being PAID for that work. I have a few more small jobs and I have hopes that those will give me the nudge and validation I've been needing.
My mother is coming Monday to stay with us for a week, my children are also off school for 10 days, and oh, let's not forget the fact that my sister-in-law, my husband's sister, is coming home with us from his parent's house on Thanksgiving and staying until the 1st. 1200 square feet, one bathroom, and six people for three full days. Stress? Nah... The fact that it's these two particular people coming to visit means I have to finish cleaning house, pronto!
I haven't even started doing anything for the holidays yet. We're keeping things simple this year and I'm grateful. I have my plate full right now without adding making or purchasing gifts. I'm not anti holidays, but I prefer to do things for others and if I have to worry about the commercialization, I can't enjoy the rest of it.
NaNoWriMo's end is coming WAY too fast. I started out strong but now I'm having toruble finding time to write. The story is there, it's strong, and I WILL be submitting this for publication when I'm done, but life is intruding! I see others on the NaNo site talking about dished piling up and they let other things go so they can write. Since being a housewife is my sole purpose, I'm not allowed to let it all go. I've been staying up each night, trying to write but I'm starting to get tired with only 3-4 hours of sleep each night. I'm clumsy to beging with, the lack of sleep is only making it worse. I guess I could be writing right now but I'm also in the middle of fixing dinner, refereeing a fight between my girls, talking on the phone, and GAH!, make that burning dinner... Gotta run!