Like any other morning. I sit down at my desk, turn on the computer, drink some coffee, and step into the Red Room. First stop, the Blogs. Who will it be this morning? Ah, some of the usual suspects, and I'm happy to see them all. And a few folks I don’t recognize – it’s nice to see new faces, read new words. Everything is as it should be in the Red Room.
Then I mosey on over to My Blog to check for comments and look at the numbers. No new comments. Oh well. No comments are better than crappy comments. Then I see it. 666. My total page views for June and July. 666. Infernal calculation. 666. Smoking pitchfork into the center of my brain. 666. Refresh. 666. Refresh again. 666. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. 666. 666. 666. Reboot the mother into oblivion. To no avail. Still 666.
I look up and wait for my particle-board ceiling to come down on my head. I look down and wait for the chasm to rip open the carpet in my air-conditioned cube and swallow me whole. I stare again at that number on my screen and wait for Satan himself to reach out and pull me through the monitor and down into the endless snake of wire under my desk. 666. My day of judgment is surely at hand.
I walk nervously to the coffee machine. Eyeballing everyone and everything. When I get back to my computer, the number is still there. 666. I refresh one more time. 666. And then again. Then it happens. 667. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to the anonymous person out there who clicked on my page and saved me from Hell's greedy clutches. At least for another day. Thank you.