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TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART
As the rain falls, and the atmosphere is dull it is concurrent with my world that turns grey on me; there goes my heart drenched with pain, anger and hurt. I watch you walk away, the memories are in playback at the core centre of my mind…tears stream if that’s the only way I would make my heart stop feeling pain then I gladly let them flow. I trace your silhouette amidst the pain, and you keep on disappearing just when am about to reach out and touch you.
How is it that all along we were not in the same page, was I so self engrossed in loving you that I didn’t notice it was I alone who was in love? The day I found out that you betrayed my heart and loved another, I wish I could get answers like was it out of cowardice that you couldn’t face me and tell me you weren’t worth my love? Or was it out of the usual cliché ‘I didn’t want to hurt you’ .I had to find this out on my own now you tarnished the love, you made it feel like bull all a hoax, i guess you succeeded in making me stone.
Now it’s all clear it was all façade, funny how it’s so evident right now that your lips were no longer mine. Your touch was cold and hard to feel but I still wanted you to hold me. The plastic smile ,am trying to understand when you turned so cold ,and when I had doubts and wanted to listen to my mind , I brushed the thoughts away…painful it was and still is.
I thought about running away from the emotional torture you subjected me to, but I figured that even if I run I would still have my heart with me, so I faced the bulls by the horn I dug my hooves deeper into the ground, and the number of times I beat myself up when I wanted to call you, text you I almost thought I was going to have stalkish tendencies I wanted to make you feel my love, force it down you perhaps. Then I realized you were just an SOB and there was no point, with so much bitterness, so much pain that emanated from knowing that I honestly gave you my all you almost killed me. Only for me to realize that I was the winner here, I had always been true and honest to love and that am proud about even though my heart is clouded by despair I will heal with time.