"The Healing Power of Love" was written to help widows and widowers to move on from their grief into whole, loving relationships. The book is written in a way that imparts warmth and compassion. Each chapter is written about a couple and how either one or both of them transcended the loss of a spouse and entered into the new relationship. In some cases, the couples already knew each other and in others they met after the losses. Each person in the relationship tells their stories from their points of view. For the most part, each partner tells what it is like to transcend the devastating grief that comes with losing a spouse of many years. In other parts, the new spouse tells what it is like to marry into a family and have to learn to be accepted by the children; even if they are adults, it is not easy. Both offer advice on how to cope. Then the counselor reflects on the couple as a whole and writes about the advice that is offered.
Many couples also discuss issues with sex. For the spouses who had spent more than half their life with one person, it is not easy to be intimate in this way with another person. It seems like the couples that openly discussed their fears and concerns were able to overcome their concerns easier. I really appreciated that the people who shared their stories were so open about discussing this issue. For many people who are uncomfortable about discussing sex with others, this is a great place to learn about other people's experiences. It is a very personal, yet important issue because your sexuality and need for intimacy does not die with your spouse.
Bereavement support groups were also beneficial for many. For some people, it was a way to connect with others and be able to share the devastating grief that you go through when you have lost someone. It is also important to allow yourself time to grieve and to heal. Some people mentioned in the book tried to start dating before they were ready. It is okay to take time to heal. Some of the people who shared their stories acknowledged that they still continued to grieve for their spouses after the new relationships started. Having a new love helped them with their healing.
This is an incredibly powerful book for helping someone who has lost a spouse to move on. If you have lost a spouse and are at the point where you would like to start dating again, this is the book for you. It will fill you with hope that there can be another healthy relationship for you. One of the common themes that I saw mentioned by many of the widowed people was that they had to get over feeling guilty about moving on. They discovered that having a new love did not take away from the love of their deceased.
I highly recommend "The Healing Power of Love" to people who have been widowed. I think that the adult children of widowed parents should also read this book to gain perspective on what their parent is going through. It also would be a great book to discuss in bereavement support groups.
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