For most couples, trying to build a successful remarriage can mysteriously bring out their deepest personal fears, longings, shames, and hopes. The key to not only survival, but living this journey well, begins with discovering opportunities to heal and to succeed; it is not about blame or badness. With the right preparation and resources, a multi-home step or blended family can be a stable and solid foundation for co-parents and children.
The Secrets to Stepfamily Success offers tools that can significantly lower the alarming rate of step and blended family divorce, helping families evolve into highly nurturing, reliable refuges of warmth, safety, encouragement, strength, caring, and joy. Step and blended families have a unique dynamic with which couples must cope, along with all the other normal challenges of life and marriage. See how these families differ in up to sixty structural and dynamic ways from typical intact biological families--including consisting of two co-parenting homes and ex-spouses―and learn how to successfully recognize and manage these challenges.
“The Secrets to Stepfamily Success will certainly lead to positive change in step and blended family members’ lives. Not only is it rich with valuable tools, learnable skills, and resources to enable a successful remarriage, but it is also inspirational as it calls everyone on the remarriage journey— whether you are considering remarriage or already experiencing step or blended family living—to action; i.e., to explore his or her own self-growth development. For those who want a lasting and happy remarried life, this book is a must-read.
“Congratulations and thank you for helping to improve the lives of millions of remarried people who are raising step and blended families!”
Paula Bisacre, CEO, Remarriage LLC, Publisher, reMarriageMagazine.com; Creator,“On Remarriage” column, The Washington Times“This is the most thorough work on stepfamilies I have seen—the depth and breadth of The Secrets to Stepfamily Success make it a handbook of great value for both professionals and stepfamily members in navigating the complex territory of stepfamily life.”
Joan Sarin, M.S., Founder, Stepfamily Solutions (www.StepmomSOS.com)
“I've been working through your book. I tend to look at it as more of a stepfamily life workbook rather than a book to read through quickly. As I have read through, stopped to make notes, made charts, lists and had insightful conversations with my children and the man I've begun dating, I've learned so much and have been able to define more of what I want and need in a relationship, what reasons I have for wanting to be in a relationship and a possible re-marriage, what I think a healthy co-parenting stepfamily will look like and what it will/may be like to merge two family units one day.
“This book is a valuable resource that I will recommend to everyone I meet who is either divorced and starting a new relationship or who is already part of a stepfamily. Wouldn't it be great if this were required reading for every newly divorced person? Think of how healthy all of their new relationships/re-marriages would be!”
Natalie Franklin, Administrator, Life in a Blender
“One of the hardest things about being a parent is becoming a stepparent. When I met my husband in 1990, I didn’t think much about the difficulties of raising someone else’s children. I thought that since I was a parent myself, we would get along so well. That’s not what happened. Reality set in pretty fast.
“What I wasn’t prepared for, was all the complexities of having other people involved in our families, all the decision making that needed to be done by more people than just my husband and I. Twenty years ago, stepfamily information wasn’t as readily available as it is today. Internet was in it’s infancy for those that knew about it and searching for information was a lot more complicated than today.
“Stepfamilies are now becoming more aware that they are not all the same and in order to succeed they need to understand what makes them different. And yet, many refuse to look and face the issues that can make or break relationships. This is apparent with the high rate of divorce in remarriages.
“Gloria’s book The Secrets to Stepfamily Success: Revolutionary Tools to Create a Blended Family of Support and Respect provides the tools and skills to make stepfamilies more successful. She approaches the issues with a lot of open and positive insights that make changes possible, even in challenging relationships.
“Many stepfamilies have a hard time finding good resources all in one place. They often go here and there to look for what they need for their particular situation. Gloria brought all this information together. This book is more than just a collection of data on stepfamilies. It’s about becoming empowered and hopeful that your family will succeed.
“This book starts with the importance of grieving the dissolution of the nuclear or traditional family, for if these issues are not resolved, they will affect any future relationships you will have and those of the children. Gloria also addresses the importance of defining your roles and rules within the home, dealing with money, sexual attractions between stepsiblings, setting boundaries and the issue of discipline. Each topic has great examples of what it looks like in a successful stepfamily and ideas of what to do. It also addresses the more than 60 ways stepfamilies are different from nuclear or traditional families, addressing why communication is often a big problem in relationships and how to address this.
“Gloria mentions that flexibility is key to a healthy marriage; ‘how can you be flexible if you do not know where you, your spouse and the children stand and what everyone needs right now.’ (p. viii) This book really helps change the perspective many have that stepfamilies are second best or inferior to a perspective of hope and possibility. It’s not just about step-moms or step-dads or their children, it’s about the entire system, including grandparents as well as other extended families members. Gloria addresses in detail many of the issues stepfamilies refuse to look at such as grieving, money and sex. She demonstrates over and over again just how successful stepfamilies get there, in a way that encourages positive changes.
“The information here is a great resource for all, from clinical and social workers that help individuals and families, to teachers, pastors, and coaches as well as anyone contemplating entering in a relationship as a step-person. As a stepparent and a coach, this book will be highly recommended as a starting point for our work together.
“The book also provides a list of great resources to those seeking help at different stages of Step relationships I hope you enjoy this book and get as much out of it as I did.”
Claudette Chenevert, Stepfamily Life Coach, AKA The Stepmom Coach, www.coachingsteps.com
"I would suggest that you get Gloria's book, THE SECRETS TO STEPFAMILY SUCCESS. Besides being a great writer she is a great person. She was on our radio show Feb. 28, 2008 talking about healing grief, the death of her husband, and divorce. It is an amazing show and is archived on www.opentohope.com and www.thegriefblog,.com.
We need more Gloria's in the world. Of course."
Dr. Gloria Horsley is the Founder and President of the Board for the Open to Hope Foundation, www.opentohope.com