A while back someone asked me a what some might consider a rhetorical question, "who am I," I being in the me form. I litterally came up blank. The question for sure caught me off guard, well what do you want to know of me? is it things I feel okay to speak about? or is other stuff that I am blocked by, or blocked off by? There are many components that compromise a writer, fear of what others might think. What about family? they are the easiest to offend and the hardest to please, there are competent types and there are other shallow people that are included. People have family members they haven't heard of, it's never a big dea until the holidays or a birthday or anniversary that people are suddenly reminded of shawdows. I say shawdows because I feel we know so very little about what envelopes people to not say what is really going on. Some might feel free to express their feelings or their concerns. Other people live in pretend circumstances, they evolve around imanginery lives that don't exist, they revolve in a way that is out of orbit with what reality dicates. Like myself, no not really, I just needed some comic relief.
I am not into reality, but more to the point a side show of it. Since many people don't have a good interpretation of what normal is, it makes my argument congruent. I feel that many people do not wish to make any conscious attempt what so ever to discover what reality is, under the painful pretense that what they might find would still not make sense. Many people in particular to myself, have lived under a shell. My shell is my home, my family, and all that it encounters from the minute small things that I seem to manage to the larger extent the things I push aside in the name of child rearing. Now that my child rearing days are in the not so distant past, and I have become a grandmother I find myself in a sense abridged to the past. But the interesting thing is that I am still the same person I was at the begining, I am still focused on myself as my primary concern, my primary focus, and my ability to deliver from a conscious point of view my own style.
I consider myself a proud person, of ethnic heritage, highly curious about the lives of others that I share the planent with and always aware of a higher conscious being. I know that when we make contact with a higher being, it is of the highest order of being. That is where I usually take off, because I know that is when people are working at their optimal best. People are a people of need, a people of deed and a people of purpose. So in me being self centered and self focused, I am not citing that self is the most important thing, even though it truly is, it truly is the thing that matters most. When people are focused on their primary inner sanctums they are often feeling fufufilled, they can be better at being whole giving people. Rather than focused on irrational thoughts, or that matter minimally. It is easier to be full with less, than to be dis-satisfied with more, in short that is what I am wishing for myself and for those that wish to pursue being whole, and not with out searching for what is missing, in becoming whole. Thank-You for stoping by to read this, and please feel free to respond.