where the writers are
Mad dogs and Guppys go out in the midday sun

Pat Guppy likes nothing better than to catch up on her reading whilst cooking like a chicken on the lawn. And what is Pat Guppy's journal of choice? Why, it's 'Fraudsters Weekly'... a broadsheet that is both entertaining and educational, and has paid for itself a hundred times over on account of its 'how to' section. The winter cardigan is flung aside in favour of a black sleeveless number, and winter trousers say bye bye as the summer skirts, which are prone to lifting in the summer breeze to reveal bloomers the size of Moscow, take centre stage. A hat, previously used to strain prunes, shields her face from the hot sun... and a stylish pair of plastic sunglasses protect her sensitive eyes from its glare, and shield the neighbours from the knowledge that she is monitoring their every move from behind those blacked-out lenses.


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She looks like a pit bull.