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Ben Guppy's secret diary to be sold at auction

Floss Littleworth hit the news again this weekend as she announced that the secret diaries of Benjamin Arnold Guppy will be going under the hammer at Bonhams at the end of July, much to the annoyance of his widow whose attempts to block the sale have proven futile. Hoping to inspire interest, Miss Littleworth has released the excerpt below to the local press, and several more will be released prior to the sale. The estimated sale price for all seventy volumes is £1.50

June 29th, 2004

Roy Leah had a man out today to look at his roof. He didn't ask my permission and Pat insists that he didn't approach her either. We are not amused. I've spoken to the council, but they refused to come out and have a look at it for me. They had the cheek to say that every man has the right to fix his roof and there's no law against it. I've written them two letters and I shall hand deliver them later today for added impact. I didn't fight in the war only to be told by a pimply upstart that my neighbour's roof is none of my business. I think he was on drugs. I stole his biro. That will teach him.

At three o'clock this afternoon, just as I was going to the betting shop, Roy Leah went out into his garden and looked at his plants. It was most inconvenient. I stood behind the front door and flicked the catch seventy-two times, but he wouldn't stop doing it! I slammed the door, but that didn't work either. Young people these days have no consideration and don't respect their elders and betters. I crushed his geraniums. That will teach him.