There we were on a cool, early January morning. Six men, all well over 50, mostly residents of Palm Heights (elevation 14’). Each of us a solo, morning bike rider. All fallen into the habit of meeting at Coffee World for spontaneous conversations at the end of our rides. Among us: several shapes, sizes, physical conditions, and biking ambitions. Spandex optional. Helmets required. Retired or not retired irrelevant.

“I’ve noticed,” Phil said, “a strong tendency to choose New Year’s Resolutions with 2 components:

1. Hope for a better year.
2. Fixing something about ourselves or our inaction. 

For example:

• take one “adult education” class per quarter
• Work out at the gym 3 times per week.
• Visit that aging relative at least twice because he or she might not be here next year.
• Get the garage organized so we can find our own stuff.
• Lose 25 pounds.
• Travel to somewhere we haven’t been to enlighten our world view.

What is it,” he continued, “about us that results in such a strong need for hope and fixing something about ourselves? Frankly, I’m bored with it. I want to remodel my New Year’s Resolutions this year. I’m challenging you guys to do the same. Think back to Thanksgiving. What were you most grateful for then? How did you know you were acting with gratitude? How did other people know you were feeling grateful?  

How about remodeling New Year’s Resolutions to include Gratitude?” “There you go messing with my head again,” said Dennis, “but OK, I’ll play. At Thanksgiving I said I was most grateful for my health. I knew I was acting with gratitude by taking my bike rides as a kind of Cosmic Thank You. My wife knew I was acting gratefully because I told her so rather than making her guess as I usually do. I hereby commit to connecting this year’s Resolutions to my Thanksgiving appreciation.”

“This isn’t so hard.” said Jim. “I’m grateful for having grown up when I did in a simpler, safer world than today’s. My biggest struggle with my New Year’s Resolutions is scale: too big and I can’t really make a difference but too small and I am only thinking of myself. My Resolution, I’m realizing, is to share the best of my own 1950s childhood playfulness with my grandchildren.

“Let’s face it, I’ve become living history and I’d like my grandkids to know more about history than they do. By sharing my own playfulness, I might help them to have more possibilities. I resolve to do something 1 on 1 that’s playful with each of my grandchildren at least once a month. And I’m grateful for the Resolution!”

“Could we change the subject, please?” asked Joe Fingers. “This all reminds me of all those years before I retired. I was always having to think, take responsibility, and make something better. I waited for years to only have to worry about my golf score and what’s for lunch. I don’t want to be grateful. I want my putting to improve. Next person!”

“I’m having a hard time with gratitude right now,” said Andy. “My wife’s cancer is still in remission, but I worry about it. It’s much easier for me to focus on Resolutions that make a deal with God. I’ll take my wife roses twice a week if he keeps her healthy. Gratitude gets lost in the shuffle.”  

A moment of total silence followed. Then he said, “I hereby resolve to talk about this with you guys and not to isolate. You have my permission to ask if I don’t bring it up on my own. I’m grateful for these conversations. You’ll know it because I’ll keep showing up here with you.”

As I pedaled my bike home I got to thinking: “Who knew Coffee World could provide a venue for revolutionizing New Year’s Resolutions? I don’t know these guys that well, but they’ve definitely given me an irreplaceable gift for my own New Year: inspiring glimpses into themselves and what’s possible in today’s world.”