This hilarious rejection slip is from a Chinese economic journal. Had I been the recipient, it is unlikely I may have kept quiet.
Here is the note (quoted in The Financial Times):
We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of lower standard. And as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition, and to beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity.
My could-have-been reply:
Thank you for reading the manuscript. Since you aver it is a divine composition, may I now reveal the truth? It was in fact written with divine intervention and occurred in proper syntax and context as a dream. It gives me immense pleasure that you saw beyond this and are compelled to be chary about anything of lower standard, something you have always excelled at publishing. This ‘hand of god’ bait was only for you to swallow and realise the calumny you have often been passing off as serious discourse. Long years ago I decided to overlook your short-sightedness. Alas, it is only now that I have made the acquaintance of the arrogance of your timidity. For the next thousand years you shall course along for, as we say in Chinese, up y’alls.