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How far can the tongue reach?

99 per cent of the people in this world cannot lick their elbows. You guessed right. I tried.

Of course, the question is: why would anyone want to do that? Are elbows desirable? Or is it about stretching the limits of one’s tongue to make it reach out far?

Are 99 per cent of us losers? Or does the one per cent that succeed qualify as achievers?

I am curious about them. How were they discovered? Were they caught during the act, or is this a sample test conducted? If so, what prompts such surveys?

I truly like trivia. I like tongues even more, and I think mine has let me down. I don’t speak with a forked tongue, but it does have acid on it; the sharp tangy flavour burns me before it can hit out at anything. I love tongue-in-cheek humour; I am sometimes tongue-tied, but am often told, “Do you need to use the tongue like a pair of scissors?"

What about elbows? I don’t care much for those. Most people who suffer from tennis elbow have never played tennis in their lives. I can say with confidence I have never elbowed my way in anywhere…okay, I once poked someone in the stomach in the local train when I was in college.

This brings us back to how we cannot lick our elbows. If any of you are part of the rarefied one per cent, then do let me know. I have a few queries:

Does your tongue feel the urge or do you push it? Which elbow do you do first? Or is it only one that you can handle? How long does it take to get there? Can it last long? Does the elbow moan with happiness or does it stay unmoved? Does a wet elbow have greater value? Do you wipe it clean? Does you tongue taste the same after all this?

Am I being too intrusive?

How can I rein in my tongue when it gallops so beautifully on the rain-drenched earth of my palate?

2 Comment count
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What a fun, playful piece.

What a fun, playful piece. Very nice, Farzanza. Lots of beautiful prose here along with some great tongue trivia -- and I never knew there was a category called great tongue trivia!

I tried cheating by pulling my elbow closer to my mouth with my other hand. Still failed!

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Thanks Chris

And whoever knew that the tongue of a mature Blue Whale weighs about the same as an adult elephant...so does having a whale of a time mean that one's speech during such a fun time is weighty or one is blowing one's own trumpet?

Re. your attempt, am glad to know I am not the only one indulging in such pursuits!