I am wearing my stressed out hat today! It's worn and patched and torn and mangled and I can't make it look better. I can't hide it and I can't throw it away. Sometimes it makes me feel alive but most of the time it depresses me.
When I'm on a deadline, my stress hat is exciting...invigorating even, but when I'm stressing out about money and my kids and to top it all off I receive my royalty check in the mail! Then, my stress hat is awful and I hate wearing it.
Everyone says, "It will get better!" but my hat just covers my eyes and I can't see when or how it could possibly get better. My hat covers all the beauty that is around me and all I can do is sulk about what I don't have. Everyone says, "Trust God!" but my hat covers my ears and I can't hear all the happy sounds in my life. I can't hear my children say "I love you no matter what, Mom!" Or, my husband say, "It doesn't matter, I love you!" No, I hear myself say, "Why can't I do better?" "Why can't I sell more books?" "Why can't I make more money?" "Why can't I be a better Mom?"
I'm going to finish up here and I'm going to throw my hat to God because I know he will catch it, if I let him.