Evan Pullins's Blog
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Jan.13.2011
What I've given to this life is beyond words. Flesh, blood, tears, sweat; nearly my own beating heart on a few occasions. What I've learned, thus far, is almost philosophical. I couldn't begin to explain my feelings about my thoughts; a lust almost too unbearable to even speak of. My nights of...
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Jan.11.2011
The boys' shadow is his only expression. Wherever he moves, it moves. His innocence fades behind the broken expression that smothers his face. The black puddle he stands in is quick to glide to the side of his weakest hand. Quietly suffocating him from behind, the darkness is all he's ever known...
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Jan.03.2011
Watch the clock fade
as the time wears thin,
I'm on my last leg
like a gash on skin.
My heart sinks
as my mind starts
to blurr, pick up
the handle and watch
the barrel turn, sharp
as the trigger
is pulled, shot
through the brain,
lead bullet
spinning, about
to stain every
white wall
that my...
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Dec.26.2010
I wait patiently for the shadow behind me. I stare up at the night sky, delicately glaring through God's creation; the stars above. Quietly humming a melody, the air breathes after I exhale. It waits patiently for me, as I do for anyone. I'd like to share the stars with her, show her what beauty...
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Dec.19.2010
I often think how I would live if I was dying. Would I set out for the horizon, leaving nothing but faded memories behind? Sometimes, I wish I was dying. I wish I could be able to love life and everything around me. What does it take for one to see the beauty of the world? Do we have to experience...
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Dec.15.2010
We're all afraid of something. Money, jobs, family. I fear time; how it fades the dreams I once treasured. It passes in an instant; not waiting for one to catch up. Time is the sand that filters through life. It leaves settle traces behind, marking the face with lines of betrayal. It abandons the...
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Dec.14.2010
I wish you could paint me a picture. Write me a story about a boy confused at heart. Sing me a song about what life is not; not filled with love or regret, just words. Share the silence as we pretend we're both not secretly sad on the inside. Take a walk with me along the shoreline; digging in the...
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Dec.08.2010
I feel like a failure. Failing to stay in school. Failing at being a successful human being. The truth is I'm sick and I can no longer be the independent person I've longed to become. Was I ever supposed to be able to graduate college or did others lead me on, making me believe I could actually...
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Dec.03.2010
If I was different, I wouldn't be me. The specific quirks that make my personality Evan, wouldn't make other's question the true importance of life. Time wouldn't be an obsession; arriving twenty minutes early for everything wouldn't even phase me. If I was different, the world wouldn't be reading...
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Dec.01.2010
The snow falls heavy at night. It doesn't wait; doesn't linger. What must come down, will. The foot prints are light in the snow. The wind quickly sweeps over the outlines. A new blanket of heavy snow falls quickly. Howling winds pick up the white dust, carrying it far out onto the roads. With the...
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Nov.28.2010
There isn't anything I can do anymore. These days, my only hope of a somewhat functional life are buried within the various pill bottles that I clutch in my right hand. To my left, nothing seems to flicker. Like the candle that sits in front of me, my flame doesn't bend and sway with the...
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Nov.22.2010
Life doesn't care whether you're depressed or happy. It doesn't bully; doesn't harass the individual. Life happens on its own time. It doesn't wait for you to jump or fly, pass or fail. I think the hardest part about life is dealing with the continuity of all things. It continues to grow whether...
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Nov.15.2010
I'd like to take a walk with you; a stranger, a friend. Walking through the park, feeling the soft crunch of the snow beneath my feet, we'll share our secrets--our fears. Life isn't what it used to be. It's dark and lonely; the emptiness of a child without direction burns within my bones. Filled...
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Nov.14.2010
I like to read. So much infact, that I own over a hundred books. Each title runs into the vertical and horizontal lines of symmetry that lead back to my desk. The colors blend into an unknown hue, from a distance. I haven't been able to read one from start to finish in a while. I guess my mind has...
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Nov.06.2010
It's the midnight wind that keeps the demons at bay. It's the way the sun sets just over the edge of my desk. Seasons changing like the way my mother's grasp hesitates just above my shoulders.
It's the way I think at dusk and wake at noon. It's the way he hums underneath his breath--elongating the...
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Will wonders never cease? I look at those stars and I pluck them from the sky, and flick them at you like diamonds, like seeds. You are the everything, and everything is in you.”
—"Eleanor Rigby" -Douglas Coupland
About Evan
I am a native of Northwest Indiana but not shy to Chicago. I've always loved writing in the way great artists love their artwork. It is my medium for life. I was born on the 25th of March in a hospital in Merrillville, Indiana. I now live in Valparaiso. I...
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Evan’s Favorite Books
No one belongs here more than you, The Bell Jar, Body of Work, It's Kind of a Funny Story, Hurry Down Sunshine, A Long Way Down, Lullaby, Downtown Owl,...
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