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Eva Schlesinger's Blog

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Dessert Island
It’s been awhile since I last wrote.   I was stranded on a dessert island.   Actually, not stranded.   Desserted.   I had my plate full.   Surrounded by orange blossom and rose blossom water, the air smelled like honey. Life was anything but crumby.   Then I panicked as baklava left my sight....
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I feel sorry for the crook.   The crook of my elbow, that is.   I feel sorry for the crook of my elbow subjected to my recent illness.   In case you haven't heard, sneezing and coughing into the crook of your elbow has become the surefire way to prevent the spread of germs.   When this method came...
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It's been awhile since my last massage.   But life could be worse.   There are some who have never had one.     I realized this the other day when I passed a chalkboard that read "Table Massage" outside a Berkeley spa. I rushed home and into my kitchen. "Want a massage?" I asked...
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Oh, my word. But not just one word. Several. My words escaped me. I had been writing something when what I wanted to say flew out of my head.   I took a deep breath. Stay calm, I told myself. Then I called for help.   Minutes later, a group of word watchers gathered, their binoculars and spotting...
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Do you ever feel invisible?   You are not alone.   Whom also feels unrecognized. As time goes by, more and more people forget about Whom. When people ask, “Who are you talking to?” or “Who are you talking about?," Whom feels overlooked.   Fortunately, help is available.   I co-chair the...
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In the early 90’s, I worked as a temp.   One morning, the phone rang. “Eva,” the deep voice boomed. “It’s Barry from Sterling. I have a job for you.”   I grunted. I had been thinking I’d take the day off to write, draw, and walk around.   “Come on, Eva. I called and told them all about you. The...
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Dear Friends, What a year 2010 has been!  After a spring that brought both major tape misplacement and replacement with, of all things, poser tape, fall brought three new tapes into my life--transparent tape, masking tape, and brown packing tape. It's good to have variety. Now I don't have to play...
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I learned how to fax at the tender age of twenty-six. I was working as a receptionist for two publishers. I faced the double glass doors, in my little gray cubicle, answering the phone. “Hello, may I help you? Hello, please hold. One moment while I transfer your call.” In addition to answering the...
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Dearly beloved sun hat,   Thank you for covering my head for six years, shielding my face and neck from the sun as well as from the rain, for you were a good rain hat, too.   Thank you for not minding that I sometimes squished you, throwing you pell mell into my bag.   Thank you for being there for...
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Avocado Plant & Friend
As anyone knows, parenting is hard work.   Especially if your child is a vegetable.   Or fruit.   Like my avocado.   She is not yet fully developed. But. She has potential. I will do what I can to help her reach her avocado avocation. Perhaps send her on a vocation vacation.     For now, she...
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It’s that time again.   That time when people ask, “What are you doing for Christmas this year?”   When I worked at a publishing company in Boston, people asked me about my Christmas plans a lot. I said my usual, "I am Jewish, and I celebrate Hanukkah."   One woman's response was, "...
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My lids have a way of disappearing into thin air. My jars have days when they think nothing of going topless.   How jarring.   I envision a world where jars and lids cohabitate peacefully in my cupboard.   So, being the entrepreneur that I am, I designed a start-up. Keep Your Lid On is a social...
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If you want to have a good conversation with someone, call for your free annual credit report. A very nice-sounding woman robot answered the phone. She earned my interest by listening carefully to everything I had to say and repeating it back to me. I felt heard and understood.   She asked for my...
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"Man overboard!" I shouted.   Or could be a woman. I peered closer.   Even gender neutral.   Most likely.   I was washing dishes, when my dish detergent jumped ship. It was bobbing up and down in the sink full of water, along with the glass bowls.   "All hands on deck," I called...
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Mug Shot
What should have been an innocent plan to make oatmeal one morning turned into chaos, when I reached for the saucepan. A cascade of cutlery crashed onto the counter, causing a clash between the serrated knives.   I tried to call on the spoons for back-up. As usual, they were spooning. I told the...
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