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Thirty Is The New Sixty

Whenever I buy toilet paper, I can never make up my mind. So many choices--soft, softest, ultra soft? Septic safe, environmentally safe, mentally safe? Scented or unscented? Made from trees, last year's newspapers, or bubble gum wrappers? 1000-ply or 200? In addition, there's the number of rolls per package to consider. I like to buy enough to last awhile. 

When I get to the bath tissue aisle, my mind starts whirring, calculating ratios: Is it better to get four rolls at $2.99 or twelve rolls for $7.99? But the four rolls are just four whereas the twelve are twelve large rolls, which equals, according to the flashy packaging, twenty-four rolls. 

Just how large is large and how long will they last? 

Not long enough, I suppose.

I move on to better things and see twenty-four bigger rolls. Twenty-four equals forty-eight. Well. That's more like it. On sale for $13.99. And, get this, if I want to do a mix and match, I can get two at $10.99 each and save 99 cents.

A girl can dream, right?

Yesterday, one package offered instant savings of $1.50, so in addition to the $13.99, I can subtract more money and who knows what will happen if I buy two. By the time today's visit rolls around, that coupon  has vanished, which just goes to show all is not fair and equal in the toilet paper bowl.

I am contemplating a complaint to the manager, when I see something that makes me dance for joy. A name brand, ultra soft TP and, drum roll, please, 25% more rolls free. So, instead of twenty-four larger rolls equals forty-eight, I have the opportunity, to get thirty. Thirty large rolls equals sixty.

Life does not get much better than this.

I skip all the way to checkout.

I guess you can say I'm on a roll.




10 Comment count
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Life's Smallest Pleasures...

Faced with the same dilemma, I often just close my eyes and purchase whatever comes to hand.  Sadly, no matter what I buy, I always have to go home & face the wrath of My Beloved Sandra, chastising me for my doltishness.

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Eyes Closed


I admire you for closing your eyes and choosing. It reminds me of playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Can we invent a game in choosing toilet paper? I think it would catch on, don't you? Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. It is always great to hear from you!


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Eva,    I go through the same


   I go through the same thing all the time, and it drives me crazy how often I return to the toliet paper aisle.  Double-sized rolls seem to last the same amount of time as regular rolls.  Was it always this way?  When it was my mom who was buying the toliet paper (and replacing it on the holder)?  I'll never know, but for now, I have a back-up roll or two left in the cupboard.  Next week, I'll be shopping again.  ~nan

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Double Trouble


Thanks for being the first to point out that double-sized rolls seem to last the same amount of time as regular rolls. It's a thought I've been contemplating. I have days when I want to unroll all the paper to do a compare/contrast. I may have to try that and and write a scientific report of my findings. In the meanwhile, I am happy to hear from you as well to hear that you have TP on reserve in your cupboard. Thank you for your excellent response!


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And what about paper towels? 

And what about paper towels?  If you fall for the packages claiming more pieces per roll because it's the supposedly bonus size,--you'll find that the pieces are actually smaller than what you normally are use to. Sneaky marketing and it still gets you in the wallet. Like Ron, just close your eyes and grab. . .Good post, Eva!

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Throwing In The Towel


Thanks for putting in your two cents on behalf of paper towels. I'm sure the p. towel community appreciates you  for standing up for a good cause. Thank you for rolling by and taking the time to respond. I was happy to hear from you again!


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Delightful Humor

What fun to read about the mental challenges of doing math problems in the supermarket aisles!  Eva Schlesinger has a delightful, fresh, whimsical approach to being a savvy consumer.  Thanks, Eva!

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You Do The Math

Dear Lily Alfred,

What fun to read your delightful comment. Thank you for your fresh approach to comment-making. Just curious, have you ever faced such issues with toilet paper tissue?

Thanks, Lily!



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Footage and Ply


Thank you for bringing humor to my day. 

I also linger in the TP aisle. When my husband shops for toilet paper his selection criteria are price per unit and "Can't see through it."

I consider footage and ply. A generic, twenty-four roll package of 120 feet, one-ply toilet paper equals 2,880 feet of potential bathroom drama. A package of twelve rolls of 260 feet two-ply Angel Soft equals 3,120 feet of heavenly bliss. (The naked angel baby floating on a cloud of TP on the package promised the faithful.)

Charmin Ultra-Soft is a good pick if you're three or like thinking about cartoon bears messing around with unroiled toilet paper.  




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Humor To My Day

Jules, Thank you for bringing humor to mine. I loved hearing about the attention you bring to shopping for toilet paper. Your calculations made my day.

I must confess to that I've been feeling a bit disillusioned, ever since I discovered that my new roll of TP is actually much smaller than my former mega rolls. How can thirty be the new sixty, when one roll doesn't even compare to mega roll? Maybe I should have called my blog, "60 is the new 30"!

Speaking of mega, I appreciated your tip about Charmin Ultra - Soft. The other day I received a coupon for $1 off. I can hardly wait to use it.

Thank you so much for delighting me with your comment. I was happy to hear from you.