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Eva Schlesinger's Blog

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Jan.10.2012
I suppose by now you've heard about the oil spill. It happened when my plastic green olive oil bottle cap tumbled off, splattering the counter. I had to transfer the remaining oil into a new home, an old Mason jar. It was, at first, jarring. But now the displaced olive oil is doing just fine....
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Dec.20.2011
I learned that my local community center was having a talent show and to be in it members needed to apply with letter of interest, description of talent or resume, wait to be selected for auditions, then wait to be selected to perform. I applied to play my flute.   I thought I'd be...
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Dec.15.2011
Do you ever wonder how words got their meanings? Take running shoes, for example. Don't actually take them--they will run away from you.   I experienced this recently, when I flew cross-country. At security, the TSA agent instructed me to place my running shoes on the belt. They sat behind the...
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Dec.09.2011
Ever since I was six, I've wanted to go on safari. Over the years, I've read travel guides and written down names of safaris I've read about in newspapers and magazines. On my ideal safari, I would see a lot without spending a lot.   Recently, I found out about a new kind of safari. Actually,...
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Nov.23.2011
This Is Not My Sock is a new collection of essays by award-winning writer, Eva Schlesinger.    An anthology of writings about washing and drying clothes, this valuable book will sure to be a favorite among even the most reluctant readers.   It includes such chapters as   1)...
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Nov.14.2011
I decided to drop by my favorite swimming hole.   I first did time in the hot tub, which lived up to its name.   Before going in, I had placed my plastic bag, containing goggles and shampoo, inside my carefully rolled up towel and put it on the bench so it could watch me. Every so often,...
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Oct.12.2011
To facilitate hanging the new tapestries I bought recently, I purchased a special kind of mounting tape called Command, designed to hold things up without leaving marks on wood, tile, glass, or vinyl. I was excited. At last, I'd be able to hang my new cloth pictures, not as large as the tapestries...
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Sep.04.2011
To recover from my recent Wash-n-Dri loss, I purchased a kind of spray hand sanitizer that kills 99.99% of all germs naturally.   Naturally, I wonder what happens to the .01% of germs that remain. Perhaps they are killed unnaturally, or maybe those will be the germs I get.   The label...
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Aug.30.2011
I am afraid I have rather bad news to share.   I hope you are sitting down.   I was visiting my beloved CVS, when I discovered that Wash-n-Dries were nowhere to be found. Perhaps the Wash-n-Dri supply dried up.   Replacing these handy handwipes were Wet Ones.   How can Wet Ones...
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Aug.04.2011
I was tired of the same old roll (or in my case, sprouted corn tortilla). I decided to buy some bread. Semifreddi's Odessa Rye.    Rye is my favorite. I grew up on it. You could say I grew up well-bred.   Some say, "You are what you eat." When it comes to rye and my sense of humor, I...
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Jul.16.2011
It is time for me to come clean about some things and one of them is I enjoy going to the laundromat. When my building's washer came down with the ooo (out of order) flu, I didn't see it as a curse.   I saw it as a blessing.   The tricky part was deciding which laundromat to go to. Should I walk...
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Jul.04.2011
My ATM card disappeared.   Mysteriously.   I put on my Detective Cap, which resembles my Thinking Cap in size and color, and got to work on the investigation. I had last seen my card on top of my orange pant leg on my bed, so I looked on my pant leg first. No card. I lifted the pant leg and peered...
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Jun.13.2011
Toothbrush Dreams
Everyone needs a room of one's own.   Especially my toothbrush.   Lying on its back on a brown paper napkin suited for naps, it tries to slumber. Tossing and turning, it tries to sleep after I've said, "Good night, sleep tight, sleep well, and happy dreams." It tries to get some shut-eye...
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May.22.2011
People have been short with me lately.   Their emails say, "Gd 2 hear from u. TTYS."   I puzzle over the words, until the advice of my first grade teacher comes to mind. "If you see a word you don't know, sound it out."   Gd idea.   Once I decipher the code, that's when the...
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May.14.2011
I recently flew across country. When I boarded the aircraft, I asked the flight attendant whether the flight was full. She said, "It's twenty shy of full." I wondered how that compared to being shy.    If you're twenty shy, does that mean you can do more out in the world? Can you dance,...
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