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Ernie and his new iPhone

hEELO Reeders,

Todaye, I m writin a blaag from my nu iPhone. Beleeve it or nut, I’ve hardly never eveen texted befour. Butt the iPhone makes it easy,becuawe it has its own keyBord…

Hmmm, wunder where speilchek is?

Guess I will go slower. There that’s butter.

An uther great thing about my iPhone (hmmm, it never seams to spell iPhone wrung) is that I can listen to musik while I work because the iPhone (ok I typed iPhone realle fast that time and stil no mistakes) is also an iPod. Wrigt now im lissening too Sam cooke sing ‘Chain Gang” Remmember the clasik line: “All day long they singing my work is soo hard give me water, imthirstee” That’s jist like collum writing only I only got a cuple of ours and I’m yousually drinking wine uf course. And no une is going to shoot me in the asp if I run a way.

Isnt tecknology a mazing? We diddn’t have computrs when I wus growin up. The most tchnologicclaly advanced thing inn my hometowne was Stubby Smith who worked at the corner store. No matter howe many items you brought to the kounter, Stubby could ad them al up in his head and cum up witha prices before you cud say sasparella… sasspirlla.. root beer. Cuple times we tried to fool Stubbe by bringinging in itmes from uther stores, but Stubby always cam up with a prices anyway. Tuk us a while to figure out we were paying for things twice, butt if Stubby new he never lette on.

Oops? Where did mi bloog message goe! Dang.

Wow. Now Im looking at photos. The iPhone hulds hundids of photos, and you can e mail them to uther people just by hiting a buttonm. Luk,heres that one frum my birthdaye when I flashed the weird naybor acrossed the stret. Probably shuld delete that one. I think this is the deeleet button…

Oh looke he’res the e mail programe I wuz telling you about.Ill jist put inn a random number so you can sea howe it works. Now if I wanted to attaché a photo… ohoh, my flashing phot just disappeared.

Anuther great feature is I can aciss… actsis… get on the internet from anywhere becuz I have wi fi whatever that is… Did you hear that? I’m gitting a phone call. You can git calls even while you are writing a blooog!

“Hello? Yes, this is Ernie Witham. Are you a fan? Oh, Excuse me Your Honor. No I am not a pornographer. Why do you ask? Oh, that’s where my photo went. No, see I’m using my new iPhone and… Okay, I promise to never send you a photo again and yes I will show up for jury duty on Monday.”

Wheew, that wuz close. Now wher wus I? Oh yeah. Writing my blag.But it disappeared. Wait, another sound. Wunder what that meens.. oh I have a texted message from some one. Let’s see.

“Hey Ernie, I just got this really long text from you and man, you can’t type worth a crap. Is this for your column or something? I guessyou writers really do run out of ideas huh?”

Sorry about that, guess my plummer doesn’t aprecitee humer. Im jist glad he sent it bak, so I don’t have too start over.

Whut else can I tell you about my new iPhone. Oh ya, it has a gps so ill never get lost again. It will alwaz no where I am. Thats a gud thing wright? It also has a cmera so I can take photos. Matter of fact I have already taken quite a fue of my desk while I wuz typping this. I could also check my socks if I wanted, though that doesn’t make much sense… oh its stock,I can check my stocks. And the weather. If I didn’t want to luk outside I can just check my iPhone to see the weather. Iz that grate or what?

Well im sur it has more gud stuff but my fingers are killung me and I neeed to add this to thee reed room sight. Feele free to write my back or text me somtim on my new iPhone. Thanks…

Uh-oh,I think I jist sent Huntington Sharpee that photo of me… he woodnt publish it on tha site wood he?

4 Comment count
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Ernee, you hav violaateed our Termms of Servvice. FAIL! :)

Huntington Sharpee, Red Rum

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It's okay that agents thing my novel sucks and my screenplay stinks, but please don't let it get out that I failed at blogging. I'm not sure I'm ready to hit rock bottom.



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hey, do you really write that way? hahaha, still this one way of writing when  ure using a celfone. note the spelling, it's even known as cp in the Philippines.

You no that???!!!! lol.

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If I ever visit the Philippines I'll know about cp

Funny, but I hated texting before I got my iPhone. I kept deleting things before I got to send them. My stepdaughter texted me one day while I was driving, when I got to my destination, I called her. She answered: "That's right. You don't text." Now that I do, I feel more "with it." ;-)