Ericka Lutz's Blog
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Dec.24.2009
We're in the thick of it now, the days that, a year ago, were the final days we had together in Madagascar: Hard days. Loving days. Memorable and painful days.
We're doing Christmas as close to the way we used to as we can, Annie and I, missing the most important element of all, the one person who...
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4 comments
Dec.09.2009
I have a sense of nostalgia for winter that comes, mostly, from not having lived through many.
It's not like we have winter here. We have a short wet season, and we have a long dry season, and though I love spring and fall and dry, there is something refreshing and refilling about wet and cold,...
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3 comments
Dec.03.2009
Beginning again is an odd thing. It's a little like being wrong. Oh, it's so hard for me to admit when I'm wrong. And it's so hard to even admit I don't want to be stopped anymore, I want to begin again.
I'm rusty, be gentle. I'm vague. I'm talking about blogging. I'm talking about writing in...
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Jul.12.2009
It's been more than six months since my husband died.
I walked slowly into that flooded house of grief. I sank. I came up for air. I sank again.
People all around me Accomplished. I read friends' Twitters: "Starting my new book!" and then a while later: "Finished my manuscript, off...
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11 comments
Mar.18.2009
On Sunday, March 15th, the Haas School of Business and the Beahrs Environmental Leadership Program at UC Berkeley hosted a memorial for my husband, Bill Sonnenschein. About 300 people attended. I spoke, along with colleagues, students, friends, and other family members. Here's a transcript of my...
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12 comments
Feb.28.2009
You know those stupid bumper stickers on the back of delivery trucks, "How am I driving?" Well, I know a number of you are wondering some version of that for me: "How's Ericka doing?"
So here's a brief progress report on me.
Two months after Bill's death, and Annie, I, and the...
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8 comments
Feb.16.2009
I haven’t had a parent die, or a child, I can’t compare – each an equal ripping, I imagine. You don’t measure grief against grief. But a partner-in-life you walk beside. That’s what you do.
A roll of paper towels on the sunroom table, the plastic half ripped off. When did I fetch it? Begin to...
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19 comments
Jan.24.2009
(A.K.A. the World's Saddest Meme.) The ever-awesome Gina Hyams not only tagged me for this "random things" meme, but suggested this variation specifically for me.
It's been over three weeks since my husband died. I watched him die. I kissed him goodbye. I buried him. And I still don't...
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20 comments
Jan.06.2009
Thank you for all your notes and calls, my friends.
Each time I receive an email or Facebook wall posting, my iPhone dings and I check. I cannot write back right now, but each message is an infusion of love and support. You are keeping me going.
New grief is an odd thing, I'm learning. Sometimes I...
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48 comments
Dec.13.2008
A painting I did the first year Bill and I were together shows a field of green. In the center there's a floating bed, and in the middle of the bed two people, face to face, stare into each others' eyes and hold each other. That was what we were like those first years. We held each other and saved...
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Nov.30.2008
This Thanksgiving we combined forces with my cousins Kim and Diane, as we always do. Some years we host and some years they host, but Bill always makes the meat (the turkey and ham) and I make pies, and Kim and Diane make all the many trimmings and more pies, and my parents bring salad and bread...
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Nov.23.2008
I've missed my "meme a month" for a few months now. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!
The things I've done are bolded.
1. Started your own blog2. Slept under the stars3. Played in a band4. Visited Hawaii5. Watched a meteor shower6. Given more than you can afford to...
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6 comments
Nov.23.2008
I do the occasional solo performance around town, and as a result I've been fortunate enough to sometimes hang out with the cool kids, the W. Kamau Bell crowd.
Kamau, the hottest thing in comedian/solo stuff around, is everywhere these days. Featured in the SF Chronicle and Bay Guardian. Named...
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Nov.19.2008
At a family event just before Madagascar Man went back to Madagascar for his longest stint yet of almost six months, one of my relatives came up to him. "You can't go. It will destroy your marriage," the relative told him flat out. In front of our daughter.
Madagascar Man reassured her...
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Nov.17.2008
Sometimes I call myself a Porkatarian. I love pork. Nothing like a good pork eatin' Jew to fully relish the fruit of the pig. In the summer, we savor bacon, avocado and tomato sandwiches, sometimes pork tenderloin sandwiches slathered* with ketchup and relish. I love bacon -- I like mine fatty (...
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About Ericka
Ericka Lutz writes fiction (short and long), non-fiction (creative and commercial), and performance pieces. She's the author of the novel, The Edge of Maybe (March 2012), many short stories, columns, personal essays, and advice books. With a B.A. in...
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