Elevator Pitch
Okay, Red Room authors and members, here's the key question: if all you read was the brief description below, would you want to read the novel?
The Oaklanders by Ericka Lutz
"Organic food, scarification, yoga, punk rock, NPR... aging hipsters Adam, Kira, and their daughter Polly live a socially-aware Bay Area life until a woman claiming to be Adam's daughter from a one-night stand appears on the doorstep with her own disabled child, bursting the family's insular bubble and forcing them to redefine love, marriage, parenting, and what it means to grow up."
I'm working on my pitch, and this (or some version of this) will go in my query letter. Does it work for you? Any input welcome.
Keywords:
About Ericka
Ericka Lutz writes fiction (short and long), non-fiction (creative and commercial), and performance pieces. She's the author of the novel, The Edge of Maybe (March 2012), many short stories, columns, personal essays, and advice books. With a B.A. in...
Connections
This is a tough one
Being a biased Red Room denizen, of course I'd read it. But....if you'll indulge me donning my typcally insensitive male clod hat for a moment, let me add a few random thoughts which will probably be of little or no value, but might conceivably expand your potential audience.
Or not.
Oaklanders as a title might get a little lost in the noise. Now, if it was renamed "The Alamedans" you wouldn't have to change the plot at all, but still have a little more exotic touch. Oakland was, to me, anyway, a town you drove through to get to Alameda. (We had a Danish Folkboat berthed at Alameda, and some of my earliest childhood memories were of driving through the Posey Tube....I was always certain we were all going to drown driving though the tunnel!) Hey...maybe you could call it "The Posey Tubers!"
People who aren't from the Bay Area don't know Oakland from Pacoima, which is unfortunate. But to an outsider, "Oaklander" might sound a bit hick, which I'm sure is something I think you're trying to avoid, from the sound of your blurb.
As far as the blurb itself....if it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's clear, concise, and does the job. But I think your title's "broke."
Just my own thoughts to do with as you please.
Eric
It's a working title
Thanks, Eric, I appreciate your thoughts, not insensitive at all! Actually, a number of people don't like the title for various reasons (one thinks it sounds too Inner City -- NOT hick --, funnily enough), but the ones who do like it ... who love love LOVE it ... ("'it's like The Dubliners!" etc.) have been so loud about it that right now they're winning out. For right now. BUT I know all too well that titles are not really under an author's control anyway, so I've got it as a Working Title. Alternative #1 = Unblinking, which some days I love and some days I don't.
The Posey Tubers? Sounds like a bad pun about that Indie actress Parker Posey's breasts.