where the writers are
Unenhanced

 

  It seems that spam for "male enhancement" products assaults my inbox in waves.  I can go for several months without being reminded of my inadequacy on a daily basis and then all of a sudden it seems the only thing IN my in box for weeks are dozens of discounts on extending, thickening, sensitizing and beautifying agents of chemical, mechanical, nuclear, and electrical nature.  I haven't quite figured out what exactly triggers this outpouring of generosity from this plethora of "procreative utensil" performance product promoters.  I have yet to sample of their wares, so obviously I haven't done anything to encourage them.  Nor has my good wife (to the best of my knowledge) given them any reason to believe I'm in the market.

 

  I don't know how these folks would even know that I might need enhancing.  For all they know, I could need de-enhancing.  Perhaps I should send them photos to make my case.   I think it's the ultimate in presumption on their part.  At the very least, it's quack medicine.  Anyway,  I'm always leery of any product with a warning that says, "may cause visual impairment."  I suppose the manufacturers haven't discovered that this is a result of poking oneself in the eye as a result of the aforementioned organic extension.  I have no particular desire to poke myself in the eye or risk inadvertently whacking it against the wife's armoire in the dark.

 

I suppose in a decade or two when they decide that I'm far too old to benefit from any of their "help" they might leave my inbox alone.  Until then I'll just have to remain unenhanced.