"Do you ever actually read anything you write?" Mikey asked accusingly. Mikey is usually right, so I asked him to elaborate.
"Everything you write is full of impossible tongue twisters!"
"I write technical literature," I countered. "Nobody ever reads my stuff out loud. If they DO, they have problems I'm not equipped to solve. Besides, it's technical literatore...technical terms can be tongue twisting."
"You don't have to put them all in one sentence though," Mikey explained. "You should stand in front of a mirror and read some of your stuff out loud....for the sake of your audience."
"I'm sorry, Mikey. I can't fathom myself reciting 'How to plot complex impedances on the Smith Chart' in front of a mirror."
Mikey proceeds to open my latest literary masterpiece and recites one of the offending passages in a Shakespearean accent. He sounds like a stuttering blathering fool.
"I see your point," I say, dejectedly. "I'll have you know, however, that I DID get the William Orr Technical Writing Award for that piece!"
"Yeah...but that's not the same as Pulitzer. You asked for my advice, and I'm giving it to you."
"No...actually I didn't. You brought up the subject. I believe you are under the influence of suggesterone."
"What is that?"
"It's a chemical compound that compels some folks to give unsolicited advice."
"Cute. But you know I'm right."
"Yeah, yeah. Well, if you like REAL tongue twisters, try this one:
"The Witch's Swiss Wristwatch." Say that a few times fast and then tell me my writing is hard to read.
As Mikey attempted the challenge, I made a discreet exit.
Causes Eric Nichols Supports
Free Burma Rangers, Partners Ministries (Thailand), Literacy council of Alaska, Access Alaska.