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Choosing your Conspiracies Wisely

Being a high-tech sort of feller, I've always had an interesting relationship with conspiracy theorists.  I was on the ground floor of the construction and initial testing phase of HAARP (High Frequency Active Aurora Reasearch Project) which has drawn the attention of more conspiracy nuts than Area 51.  In fact, I have walked directly under the vast antenna array of HAARP while it was under full power operation...and as anyone can tell you, I'm perfectly normal.  Just ask me.  Now, in all seriousness, I can assure you, despite Jessie Ventura's claims to the contrary, that HAARP is entirely innocuous, the purpose of which is to perform some just plain cool basic research experiments on the ionosphere...which is a whole lot cheaper than probing deep space....yet with far more immediate results.  HAARP stands alone in being a government project that actually came in UNDER BUDGET!!!!!!!  (Note extra exclamation points...as this is a monumentally  rare occurrence).

Now, for those of you who are out of the conspiracy theory loop, HAARP has been accused of doing everything from mind control (obviously THAT isn't working) to creating tornadoes on the East Coast.  Be that as it may, the real danger of HAARP is that it draws the attention away from the REAL conspiracies that we need to worry about...to wit, nearly everything that happens in Washington D.C.   I would rather have a THOUSAND operational HAARPs than one IRS.   HAARP is fully subject to physical law, scientific integrity, and logic.  The IRS, of course, is none of these.  (I only point out the IRS as one example of countless related entities.  Oddly enough, the latest shenanigans with the NSA make the IRS seem like Mother Teresa by comparison). 

I'm not sure why there is such a dichotomy in conspiracy interest.  I suspect it's because people are generally suspicious of science, while curiously trusting of politicians.  I've never figured this one out.  People (of whom politicians are a subset, I understand) are motivated by greed, ambition, arrogance and vanity.   Science is motivated by the laws of nature.  Sure, you can do some pretty nasty things with science, but only when it is under the control of greedy, ambitious, arrogant and vain people.  But left to its own devices, science does nothing...it just is.  It's sort of like a gun in that regard.  (I won't even go there at this particular juncture).

Are there conspiracies?  Of course there are; there always have been.  Is there a Taliban or a telemarketer under every bedpost?  Probably.  Frankly, my life has been more disrupted by telemarketers than the Taliban...your mileage may vary.

However, I suggest that if you must worry about a conspiracy or two, I'd concentrate on the ones you can't control...not because you can do anything about them...but it just makes more sense to worry about real dangers than imaginary ones.  The real dangers are the ones ruled by irrational, inherently evil humans, not the ones ruled by the laws of nature.  Politicians make policies that can ruin your life.  HAARP may be bizarre, but it's not evil.


And, unlike Washington D.C., HAARP can be turned off with the click of a mouse.