I attended a lovely wedding reception on Saturday, and ended up talking with some of the other guests about how useful it would be if they did start teaching marriage skills in kindergarten. Maybe the divorce rate would not be skyrocketing. It seemed to us, in our conversation, that the curriculum would not really have to separate the lesson into “gay” and “straight” marriage. For one thing, if there is any occasion (besides Halloween) where straight people have adopted costume and camp to better effect, I don’t know what it is.  But you decide:

Gay Marriage: A Kindergarten Lesson Plan

1) Marriage is a relationship between two adult, consenting partners. It is ideal if these people know themselves well and even like themselves. We also hope they really like each other, at least to start.

2) Marriage is a framework for sustaining love, family, and a lot of logistics, such as bills, housecleaning, and (sometimes) childcare. In this special Gay Marriage lesson, we are going to learn reflective listening, calendar management, and checkbook balancing.

3) A significant period of courtship is recommended before embarking on your marriage journey. If you expect your partner to change (even just to meet his or her amazing but unrealized potential), GIVE IT UP before you marry. Marriage is about loving a person just as he or she is. (This does not mean you cannot negotiate about the disposal of dirty laundry or whose turn it is to change diapers.)

4) When attending a gay wedding, see if you can find a card that does not have animals on it. With the dearth of appropriate cards, animal themes tend to dominate.

5) In our lesson on the history of Gay Marriage, we are going to have to talk about the Catholic church, which used to perform them some hundreds of years ago. Please have your parents sign the permission slip that will allow us to discuss this oppressive institution that many of them do not support, believe in or practice.

P.S. This week, Angie and I are going to elope . . . in case enough of you don’t VOTE NO ON PROP. 8 . . . and they take away our right to be married.

Tomorrow’s blog: Easy peasy GIVEAWAY for writers and people who want to write, plus more on books, writing and that sort of thing. http://www.elizabethstark.com (Please visit me at my web site for writing tips, giveaways and courses.)