Last night, I said "buhbye" to my teetotler status and bought myself a bottle of wine, an opener, a glass, and a box of chocolates.
I sat naked on the couch in my living room of the house I shared with my parents. I listened to 80's music, ate the entire box of candy, drank the whole bottle of wine and danced naked to "Prince Charming", the song that ignited my euromania all those years ago.
Why did I do this?
Partly because I'm mourning my dad. I believe he isn't going to see his 77th birthday. He's mourning my mom so hard that this is his third turn in the hospital since my mom died in April. I don't want to lose him but if he wants to see my mom again so desperately that he's willing to leave me I can't tell him no.
And partly because I'm becoming the free spirit my mom wanted me to be. When dad is gone, i'm planning on selling my childhood home, buying a small RV and traveling.
The wine did not effect me. At all. Probably because I've been on painkillers for so long I'm like Amy Winehouse. Takes more than a bottle of wine to knock my butt out. I didn't take any painkillers while drinking because I'm smarter than Amy Winehouse.
I'm not a dopehead.
I'm a 40 year old woman who said goodbye to her self-imposed innocence and decided to embrace what she had seen all the time and shunned.
The REAL her.
Leather, lace, weird nail polish, Victorian era erotica.
The me born in the 80's never died.
She simply went dorment
Look out, world, I'm on the loose!!