From our ongoing chronicles of "sometimes you simply couldn't make this stuff up," the following story of love gone wrong and the painfully ironic name of the hospital to which the victim was taken.

-- Earl "In Memorium" Merkel

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WARNING: The following is likely as off-color as it is potentially wince-inducing.

Ex-Girlfriend Busted For Brutal Scrotum Attack 

Cops: Assault left Indiana man bloody, swollen, unable to work

APRIL 5--An Indiana man had his scrotum severely torn when his “on-again, off-again” girlfriend entered his home and pummeled him in an attack that resulted in the woman’s arrest on several criminal charges, including two felonies.

Christina Reber, 43, was freed from jail yesterday after posting $10,000 bond in connection with her bust for the alleged attack last Friday at the Muncie house of her ex-beau (who told cops he had ended the couple’s eight-month relationship days before the assault).

The victim, 57, told police that he was working at his computer when Reber  “walked into his house uninvited,” according to a Muncie Police Department report that will make every guy wince. The man said Reber screamed at him to “call the (deleted) police” before launching her assault.

Reber, the victim told cops, first struck him repeatedly in the head before latching onto his scrotum and “squeezing as hard as she could.” The man, interviewed by police at a hospital emergency room, said that he “was in incredible pain when Reber grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers.”

The victim recalled that Reber “refused to let go of his scrotum,” but that he was “finally able to pry his scrotum from Reber’s hand” after they fell to the ground during the scuffle. The man then called an ambulance, which transported him to Ball Memorial Hospital....

Full article online via The Smoking Gun at: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/indiana-scrotum-horror-769123