From our "A Man's Reach Should Exceed His Grasp" -files: Kudos on the ambition, Piers.
But realistically, it looks like the only way might be to sneak up on him.
In a dark alley.
With a crowbar.
But hey: I'd watch your show that night...
-- Earl Merkel
(POSTSCRIPT: 'Course, those night-vision, green-screen, hand-held camera recordings always make me a little dizzy...)