In a recent post, I quoted Lily Tomlin: "No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up."
In a humble mea culpa, I admit that this particular philosophy can occasionally lead one astray.
Case in point: earlier this week, when I first heard online reports about a rumored new "app" for the Apple iPhone, I confess to having felt extreme cynicism. The app in question would, the reports insisted, allow the user to self-check one's self for sexual transmitted diseases... by a simple urine test involving the aforementioned cell phone.
"Uh-huh," I mumbled, no doubt startling the strangers seated nearby. "Gotta be an Internet prankster, trying to see how many of the gullible can be convinced to pee on their own cell phones. How dumb does he think we are?"
Today, I blush (and not just because my cell phone is dripping amid the sparks).
The excerpt, below, is from the UK's Daily Guardian.
The new app requires a special "pee-on" electronic chip, which is attached to the phone's input jack. This certainly should enliven conversations in both the men's room and the ladies' room at popular mating venues, like clubs and concert events. It may even replace texting in popularity, at least for some. (It does raise some interesting questions, though: for one, what are the rules of etiquette when asking a prospective partner to pee on your phone? Here's another: Is this officially considered 'foreplay'?)
Alas, the perils of chronic cynicism! I now pledge to believe everything I read online, henceforth!
And I urge all of us to do likewise.
For instance, I've heard the there's a new app soon to be available that sounds very useful. Here's the promotional teaser: Your Cell Phone Can Check For Sewer-Line Stoppages If You Flush It Down Your Toilet. Really! There's An App For That!
Can't wait to try it.
--Earl "Now I'm A Believer" Merkel
STD app for self-testing being developed in Britain
A new test will soon enable STDs to be diagnosed via mobile phone or computer, a move that health experts hope will slow the rising rate of infection among young people
By Denis Campbell
Guardian health correspondent
5 November 2010
Mobile phones and computers will soon be able to diagnose sexually transmitted diseases under innovative plans to cut the UK's rising rate of herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhoea among young people.
Doctors and technology experts are developing small devices, similar to pregnancy testing kits, that will tell someone quickly and privately if they have caught an infection through sexual contact.
People who suspect they have been infected will be able to put urine or saliva on to a computer chip about the size of a USB chip, plug it into their phone or computer and receive a diagnosis within minutes, telling them which, if any, sexually transmitted infection (STI) they have.
- # -