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So Who are You Really? And Why Did You Show Up?

"There are two important days in your life," said someone. "The day you were born. And the day you figured out why."

Leo Tolstoy put it like this: "Without knowing who I am and why I'm here, life is impossible."

So, how would you fill in the blank, "My name is _____ and I showed up __________________.

You will likely find that is a difficult thing blank to fill in.  But, don't put too much weight into any of this.


I'll tell you why.  I remember the night when I suppose almost all the ego attachments in my mind had dissolved. St. John of the Cross called his moment of ego death, "the dark night of the soul." For me, it wasn't so dark. You see, I had been through the darkness already. I found instead that the darkness was not so dark, that the quiet bedroom was not so loathsome as I'm sure it is in the experience of others. The experience of our awakening is always similar and always different.

I looked up at the ceiling and I asked myself, "Who the hell are you anyway?"  Whereas before, the ego in me always had a ready response.  You're a minister. A preacher. An author. The envy of other ministers. A husband. A father.  A success. And then, of course, I could always rehearse my accomplishments and relish in my many achievements.

But, on this night, I had no response. My mind was as empty of ego as it had ever been. Instead of despair, however, or anxiety at the least, I felt peace. When I attempted to answer my own question, all I could come up with was this: "I don't know who I am. Nor do I know why I'm here." In that sudden realization, however, I had another thought and with it a feeling. In fact, it was a most profound sense of awareness, inner peace, and stillness. In that moment, I became aware that I was perhaps closer to my REAL identity and my REAL purpose than at any other time in my life.

When you do not know who you are, that may be cause for celebration. Out of the emptiness, you make the discovery of Everything.  I know this may sound strange to some readers. But, some day, something similar may happen to you.  Since the Divine is no-thing, the feeling of no-thing-ness is anything but terrifying. Now, the ego in you is terrified. It must have something to cling to.  But, not the emptiness within you where Everything is One with you already. No indeed. It is there in the emptiness of Everything you realize who you REALLY are and why you really showed up.

Just as I open and close in The Enoch Factor: The Sacred Art of Knowing God, there is this all important question: "You were born to walk with God; so why would you walk alone?" Pursue the answer to this and see what happens.

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Yes, loneliness is a terrible thing!

Ego does do that sometimes...