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Lessons in Loss

We lost our son recently. His longtime friend, Alcohol, crept into his bed one night and stole his soul. Since that time, many lessons have hovered over my head begging to be heard. Lessons like learning there is no right way to love an alcoholic…only that you must. I learned that asking for guidance from others counts, but cannot be the final tally for actions and reactions to ensue. I learned that trusting one’s Self is eminent in the face of danger, fear, and choice; and,  that danger, fear, and choice comes to us even without our addicted loved one’s presence. I learned compassion is sometimes elusive, but always within reach.

Since the publication of Tales of Addiction and Inspiration for Recovery, I have received many letters supporting the book’s philosophy. I had not thought of my contributing words in between the heartfelt addiction stories found within this book to be a philosophy, however, I can discern a common thread stitching my words together. That thread is Compassion. I fast learned with my son’s addiction, without compassion there is no acceptance…without acceptance, there is no love. How can we have compassion for our addicted loved ones? How can we not…compassion is an open heart for all--addicted or not. Being open to our lessons in life when there is loss is not an easy task. But, learning to have compassion for ourselves and others is a requirement if we are to move forward on our journey.

**Barbara Sinor, Ph.D. is a retired psychospiritual therapist loving in northern California. Sinor is the author of five books and is writing her sixth. To contact Sinor, visit her web site: www.DrSinor.com