Pet peeves are a quirk in the young. Once your hair goes gray (excuse me, SILVER), they are perceived as evidence of the grumpiness of the elderly. Screw it. Here are some things I could do without.
- Packages that require a chainsaw to open. You’d think there was gold instead of a toothbrush the way things are packaged. I have an entire drawer full of devices to defeat tamper-proof packaging. The guy who put the cyanide in the Tylenol should rot in hell. His intended consequence was to kill. I’ll bet he went into tamper-proof packaging and made a real killing.
- People who discuss traffic and driving. I realize people encounter bizarre drivers and traffic getting to my house, but I’d really rather talk about anything else. Once in the car, the discussion turns to the best what to get from A to B, at least in Houston. It’s like complaining about the heat and humidity in the jungles of Southeast Asia, or the blowing cold in the Antarctic. Let’s talk about something interesting — like Anthony Weiner flipping off the voters who had sense enough to flip him off.
- People who are negative. Their idea of a greeting is to tell you the latest thing that they dislike. Start on the positive; end on the positive and if something is amiss, bury it in the middle.
- The organ recital. “How are you?” requires a social answer, not a list of organ systems that are going amiss. If I want to know about your health, I’ll ask, “How is your health?”
Since I’ve bitched at the beginning, (see #3), the least I owe you is a longer list of daily delights.
- An excellent cup of coffee. Comforting, welcoming, energizing and a constant reminder that there is a God.
- Sticky notes. I adores these, especially the ones that say, “It’s your problem now.”
- Toenail polish. It is a bold assertion of femininity, even if only I notice it. It brings me incredible joy.
- Home grown tomatoes — that they birds don’t beat me to.
- Sweet peas. They are my birth flower and bloom for 90 seconds in Texas. In Maine, they’re good all summer long, weather willing. This year it wasn’t willing, so I have something to look forward to.
- A child’s laughter. They find so much funny in the world and laugh with such abandon, it is renewing. A game of peek-a-boo with a eight-month-old made me happy for days. And it so exhausted him in the boarding area, he slept all through the flight. True joy for the rest of the passengers.
That is some of my list — let me hear about your list…
Causes Dixie Swanson Supports
Lupus Foundation of America
YMCA of Greater Houston
Pen Bay YMCA
Action for Healthy Kids