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Lucky me!

I was outside the other day and my son narrowly missed having a bird poo on his head.  It landed right next to him, one more step and he would have copped it.  It reminded me of the day at school when, as a sixteen year old, I was sitting outside, trying to appear cool and nonchalant as one does at that age, when I was bombarded from above and ended up with bird poo on my shoulder.  There was no where to hide and of course my friends laughed and then someone said, "You know, it's good luck if a bird poos on you." WTF?  It's not lucky, it's unlucky.  Lucky is winning the lotto, or avoiding an unavoidable car accident, a bird shitting on me is not improving my life in any way.  Soon people will be saying, "Don't worry, it's good luck when your husband leaves you for a younger woman, or it's good luck that your laptop was stolen."

I'm sure they are saying it to make you feel better, but it doesn't, it just sounds stupid.  So next time someone you know falls prey to a crappy bird don't tell them they're lucky, maybe offer them a tissue, it's much more helpful.

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That Old Saw

Yeah, people say lots of foolish stuff.  Lord knows where it comes from. I'm doing a reading tonight & one of the pieces I'd reading follows:




It’s not true, what they say

about the bird in the hand; I’ve

been among the bushbirds,

and they’re far more beautiful

and just as easy to come by.

And when they try to tell you

patience is a virtue  or virtue

is its own reward, you can

bet your life they’re just

doing their best to cool your

jets, keep your sweaty hands

off their cheerleader daughter.

A lot of what they say is bull.

Trust me on this: slow and steady

never won a race, and turning

the other cheek only gets it

slapped, too.      

                  But once in a while,

however rarely, they get it right:

he who hesitates is, indeed, lost.

Nice guys almost always finish last.