Do single women not have dying parents or sick pets or the occasional termite problem? Do we not have careers that fascinate us, friends that aggravate us, gods to grapple with, sexual personas to explore, preludes to learn, hoodies to knit, dogs to train, hogs to ride, corn to hoe, children to raise, and now and again, a backed-up toilet to fix? Are we truly so vacant, so one-dimensional, so shallow and predictable that our only concern is figuring out which online dating service we'll log onto tonight and/or which pair of strappy sandals we'll wear on our exciting date with Dirk from accounting?

Hardly. It's just that for certain members of society and the media (for instance, the people responsible for promos like "Up next, when the party begins, the women compete for the bachelor's attention -- and for a pair of diamond earrings!"), that's their story and they're sticking to it. Whether single women like it or not, we're going to have our feet crammed into a pair of tiny glass slippers and sent stumbling off in the general direction of a ball. 

And for many, present company included, the toes on those little glass suckers are really starting to pinch.