I just finished reading Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman and it led me to wonder, what culture will be the next big thing? Eskimos?
I think we all need to stop, take a deep breath, and really think about parenting and parenting books. What matters? Is it really Druckerman's insistence on good manners and toddlers eating foie gras?
Okay, I exaggerate, but just a little.
Which leads me to the 3 commandments for those considering writing parenting books:
1) Thou shalt not write a parenting book whilst your children are still in elementary school or younger.
This focus on the very young child makes a parent think that sleeping is important. And interesting. As the parent of any grown child knows, it is neither. All children will eventually sleep through the night. Some will do it later. Some will do it earlier. Who cares? This advice applies also to eating and pooping. Try to write about something that matters. Bigger values, bigger ideas about what it means to be a good parent raising moral, ethical children.
2) Thou shalt not write a parenting book while being a happily married member of the upper-middle classes.
Do we really need another parenting book from a rich, educated nuclear family? No. No, we do not. Let's hear from the other classes. From single moms thrust out of the upwardly mobile by circumstance or bad luck. From non-white, non Ivy-League graduates. I want a book from the mother of six living in the inner city. Honestly, what mother knows more than that lady? Unfortunately, she's too busy. But I could help. Call me!
3) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors' parenting techniques.
Chinese parenting. French parenting. Enough already! What works in China works because...okay, I don't think it really works. What works in France works because of a highly socialized, homologous political and social structure in a country less than the size of Texas with less than 20% of the U.S. total population and an anti-immigrant position worthy of well, Le Pen. It does not apply here. So please American mothers, don't believe you must have tight vaginas and slim figures three months after giving birth or that your children must all eat at the same exact time as all other children. They do not. Look to thyself and thy culture. There, you will find all the beauty and worth you need.
Causes Diana Holquist Supports