where the writers are
Match Play

Do you get mad at the person who takes advantage of you or mad at yourself for letting them?  Do you get upset when you can’t get help from someone or acknowledging how much you don’t want to help when it’s you? Are you disappointed with all the ugliness of the world or disappointed in those times that you relate to it? There is a very fine line between optimistically wanting something to work and being frustrated that it isn’t or hasn’t or is taking too long.  I am very excited about most things working out and when they don’t I am more than satisfied chalking it up to experience.  However, today is not one of those days.  Today is a day I don’t have a shield up or a nice face for the world.  I would like, as many others would, for their projects to work out.  I want things to go according to plan, in a timeframe that’s reasonable, and with an end date in sight.  I am the most unhealthy when it comes to waiting.  Dr. Seuss’ “Oh the Places You’ll Go” describes what I am feeling right now to a tee.  I am a “pick up a few projects” finish them and pick up a few more kind of person.  I don’t like loose threads or ends.  I don’t like busy work for the sake of it being busy.  I don’t like talking for the sake of talking. I need meaning.  I search for purpose. I like being focused and not always sharing that time slowing down or normalizing things for everyone around me to understand.  I like the challenge up.  I like the stretching. But this waiting has got to stop.  The waiting has me attaching myself to projects and keeping company with people I know are not good for me. I want to be a part of this media community.  I want to learn and contribute.  I will do everything that I possibly can, hoping to see what works.  It is a worthwhile process.  It doesn’t necessarily mean the path is clear or the answers are easy.  Sometimes when you ask for help and it seems no one can, it’s because they are trying to figure this process out for themselves also.  But I am amongst my peers. So before I get too excited let me finish reviewing, hopefully my last physical proof before I press the “publish” button.  That way, I too have something to bring to the table.