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New York Times Love, Heartache and Hollywood, & a Wild Thing Dirty Dancing

As 2010 turns into a bent shriveled old man, and 2011 prepares to be contracted out of the universe’s uterus, I’m filled with a profound sense of gratitude and happiness that I am not yet dead.  Yes, it's true, 2010 saw George Bush and Justin Bieber join Paris Hilton in the rank of best-selling authors.  But on the upside, South Africa put on a glorious World Cup this summer, and I think it was a great sign that the beautiful delicate artistry of Spain triumphed over the rape-pillage’n’plunderism of the barbaric Vikings.  Plus, California didn't drop off into the ocean, and Olive somehow turned 3.  So for me, that's a good year.

 

The Essential Guide Pitchapalooza Tour is now halfway done, and while we had some soul sucking lows (the DC bookstore didn't even know we were coming, and had 0 of our books on hand), we were lucky enough to end on a note of Xtreme triumph.  In Huntington, Long Island of all places. 

 

NY TIMES PITCHAPALOOZA ARTICLE: http://bit.ly/gw99nh

 

Book Revue is a very good bookstore.  It has an astounding bookseller/event coordinator named Julianne Wernersbach.  She hooked us up with a feature article in Newsday before the event.  And a beautiful little mini-doc. 

 

PITCHAPALOOZA MINI-MOVIE -TRY NOT TO CRY http://bit.ly/f8hH2F

 

WHITE KNUCKLES, CRIME & PUNISHMENT, & TRIUMPH IN LONG ISLAND: http://bit.ly/dVzatz

 

Which is all very odd because we've now done Pitchapaloozas from Dayton to Denver, Pittsburgh to Portland, Manhattan to Miami, Seattle to Tempe, Clinton to Pasadena, and Cleveland to Hollywood. 

#1: The Essential Guide Rocks America Tour Kicks Off: http://bit.ly/dbk39k
#2: 1st Stop Washington DC: the Borders Incident: http://bit.ly/cQ11fj
#3: NPR Love in DC: http://bit.ly/9bCUcl
#4: Pat Conroy & Scarlet O'Hara On the Road to Pittsburgh: http://bit.ly/aVBAH5
#5: Death @ the Bookstore - The Murder of Joseph-Beth: http://bit.ly/dpYTnj

#6: Miss Ida, Daryl & Olive Chillin in Steel Town http://bit.ly/aLZS22

#7: The Beauty of Loganberry Books & the Universe’s Lollipop http://bit.ly/abOTPR

#8: Dawn Cracks Early in Cleveland  http://bit.ly/axLCDP

#9: Finding Happiness @ Books & Co & the Dayton Airport Blues  http://bit.ly/cwd6lo

#10: Stuck in Dayton on the Day That Would Never End http://bit.ly/cfipH1

#11: B & N Manhattan Pitchapalooza on Publishers Perspective. http://bit.ly/bcHFaZ

#12: I Love LA! –Hollywood Disaster & the Jewish Men-Skirt http://bit.ly/9Ci5dB

#13: Vromans Versus Dancing with the Stars, Riding a Dinosaur, & a Minnie Mouse Who Needs $ http://bit.ly/bXYdQ8

#14: Coming Home to Portland, Autumn Leaves, and Packing Them in at Powell's http://bit.ly/fs326Q

#15: Seattle: Mexican Prisons, Sea-Salted Pate & Losing Your Innocence to Jimmy Carter http://bit.ly/fZKSiG

#16 Phoenix: Irving Berlin, Women Who Run With Wolves and a Random Act of Kindness http://bit.ly/gJRp0R

#17: Miami Book Festival: Versailles, Cheesecake Popsicles, and Sexo PARA Dummies http://bit.ly/dZsInz

 

We also did our first live Twitter event.  Here it is on Huffington Post:

 

POPPING MY CYBER CHERRY ON TWITTER: http://bit.ly/dUtYck

 

We feel blessed to have met so many madly passionate writers and bravura booksellers.  Already many of the writers who pitched to us are being wooed by agents and editors, which excites us no end.  Because we are the Book Doctors, making books that are better one author at the time.  We’re starting again on January 5.  Here's our schedule. 

 

Jan 6th CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Andersons, 7pm

Jan 10th DENVER, COLORADO Tattered Cover 7pm

Jan 12th NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA Garden District Book Shop 5:30pm

Jan 16th CORTE MADERA, CALIFORNIA Book Passage 1pm, WORKSHOP: How To Perfect Your Pitch

Jan 18th CHICO, CALIFORNIA, Lyons Books, CHICO CA 7pm

Jan 19th CORTE MADERA, CALIFORNIA Book Passage 7pm,

Jan 20th SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA The Booksmith 7:30pm,

Jan 22nd STANFORD, CA Stanford University 10am, WORKSHOP: How To Get Successfully Published, special all-day workshop!

Jan 31, KANSAS CITY Rainy Day Books 7pm,

Feb 11 MONTCLAIR, NJ, Public Library, w/ Watchung Books, 7 PM

 

If you know of any group, association or venue with writers who'd like help getting successfully published, send them our way.  We’re also offering this holiday special.  For you, or as a gift for any writer you know, get a free consultation with the purchase of The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published.  Either do it through our website and send us e-mail verification.  Or call: 310-463-2068.  Operators are standing by.

 

FREE $100 BOOK DOCTORS CONSULTATION W/ PURCHASE OF BOOK: http://www.thebookdoctors.com/our-book

 

 

SEX WORKER LITERATI: ZOE HANSEN'S HO HO HO HOLIDAY PARTY: http://on.fb.me/fA5lul

 

December brings us a super blowout cavalcade sex drugs & rock 'n roll extravaganza of literary filth and nakedness, illuminating that singular  moment when a window opens to the human soul as sex is exchanged for money.  An absolutely fabulous array of performers include mad hot MARY RAFFAELE aka RAPHAEL aka QUEEN VIXEN, a true Cycle Slut from Hell.  CHRISTINA CICCHELLI, sexy sexy sex writer, fetish specialist and AVN nominated porn star.  www.afantasticnightmare.com.  JODI SH.DOFF, nasty NY Times lauded writer http://thedirtygirldiaries.com/about/.  MATTHEW LAWRENCE, with tawdry tales from when he was the worst rent boy ever. KEITH CAPUTO, legendary legend who's worked with everyone from Bjork to David Bowie http://www.keithcaputo.com/. HEATHER LITTEER, aka JESSICA RABBIT, dancer/actor/singer of Camel Toe Mustache Ride fame http://heatherlitteer.com/.  & MICHAEL ALAGO, the rough god himself. http://www.roughgods.com/

JUST ADDED: Puma Perl, Big Mike &  Amy Uzi will be performing a sick sexy lap dance!

 

Links for your viewing pleasure:

ROSABELLE SELAVY: WILD THING DIRTY DANCES http://bit.ly/i367iz

AIMEE DELONG: FANTASY BOOTH CHICK & MILITARY DUDE W/ GLOWSTICK UP HIS ASS http://bit.ly/f5HzO8

SCOTT UPPER: THE LONGEST HOUR EVER, TICKLING & THE TRICK'S MOM http://bit.ly/hysLrE

PUMA PERL & BIG MIKE: SCISSORS, CUTTING & WHORING http://bit.ly/eErCPO

DAVID HENRY STERRY: PAINFUL SEX@MY FIRST ORGY http://bit.ly/f7qBCt

Bonus material:

ME TALKING ABOUT SOCCER ON NPR. http://bit.ly/esGJrr

OLIVE PICTURES.  http://bit.ly/eDECvj

 

I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday, and a ravishing New Year.  May all your dreams come true in 2011. xox D