I think back to the first time I saw the Wizard of Oz and thinking "Wow, I wish I could go there!" Many years later, through life experiences, both good and bad, I realized I had been there, many times. Oz, an enchanted land where everything you could imagine was and things you never thought of appeared. A little bit like the world today. The Munchkins were to me the quiet voices, hidden away until the "witch" was killed, that pointed us in the right direction. Those voices showed the way to a better life... a safe place, if you will. A way to go home after we had lost our way. Interesting that the road was yellow, I think. Yellow being the color we use to say "slow down" or "proceed with caution." We use the color as a warning to anyone that might need to know.. I myself, often found that road. It was one that I should have more times than not, heeded the warning and proceeded with caution. But like Dorothy, I just wanted to get home.
I thought about the things that the 5 of them endured as they traveled towards Oz. The haunted forest and the monkey-men that attacked them, carrying them off to a bad place. Many times in my life, I entered just such a forest. A dark place where everything around me seemed to be attacking me. I scarey place that again, all I wanted to do was find a way out of. The monkey-men being no less than the people I had met along my journey that took me in the opposite direction I needed to go. They dropped me off, right in the witches clutches and it was up to me to fight and escape. Always, I looked to someone else to guide me and sometimes even fight my battles for me. I had the tin man and the scarecrow and the cowardly lion all with me. Not walking along side of me as they did Dorothy. I carried them all inside of me.
Sometimes I felt that the things I did, the ones that hurt those I loved most, must mean that I had No heart. The fear I have of confrontations I so easily can liken to the Lion. Afraid that if I had to face someone face to face, surely I was not strong enough to win. When I look at some of the places I allowed myself to go. putting myself in Harms way, it could have just as easily been the scarecrow. No one with even half a brain would have ventured to some of the places I allowe myself to go or be led to. All three of them, tucked neatly inside of me, safely, I thought. These three parts of me were all and still are essential to my survival. My heart to help me with compassion and the desire to reach out and help someone. The fear that was and is inside of me that at least sometimes, steered me clear of some places I just shouldn't have gone too. And of course, the Brain. Something I used, but not always for the right reasons.
How did I get to the land of Oz, you wonder? It realkly was a simple thing. I am Bipolar, and with being bipolar comes everything that Oz has to offer. The wicked witches and the beauty of Glinda, the good witch. The sadness and lost feelings that Dorothy had and the extreme highs of the thought of going home. The highs and the Lows of being bipolar. And there is an Oz that exists in my world. A place that offers hope and has anything imaginable from colored ponies to an Air Balloon, tied and waiting for me to board it. It took a very long time, a journey to a wizard that did'nt really exist, for me to realize that everything i needed to survive, to endure the storms and tornadoes that have brought me here, was already right inside of me. All I have to do is stop and recognize that it doesn't take a wizard to give me a brain or a heart or courage. It only takes me, taking control of my life and using all three parts of Dorothy's companions. I have the courage inside of me. Each time I get out of bed and face my day, knowing that there IS another witch out there some where, waiting for the chance to steal my Ruby Slippers. My heart may hurt those I love but it also brings great joy and so much laughter to their hearts. As for my brain... welllll, o.k., I might need to work on that but. I do know I didn't need The Wizard Of Oz to implant one inside my head. Just need to shake my head now and then and wake it up.
When one is bipolar, there is a little bit of Oz running around inside their heart and head. The yellow brick road is always there to remind them to walk and to seek out their OZ, but to "proceed with caution." The wizard, hiding behind a curtain, swearing to help and yet having nothing to truly give us. friends, that hide behind a fascade of understanding and the know how to "fix" us, that really don't understand and offer nothing that will really help us. As the song says, "Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man... that he didn't already have." Being Bipolar also takes the biggest part of Dorothy's words and says it over and over in our heads. We have only a very tiny amount of people we trust in and even fewer that we call "Our safe place." So truly, there REALLY is "No place like home, there is no place like home, there is no ...
Causes Darrel Day Jr Supports
bipolar awareness, breast cancer walk-a-thons, national child abuse foundation, make a wish foundation, muscular dystrophy, american heart association