Oh, did I mention I was divorced? Yes, that means I used to be married, for three years. But it felt like it was much longer as these years were so eventful, full of depressions, betrayals, physical abuse, deadly silence, and endless miscommunications. But somehow that didn’t leave a big mark on my life. I feel it is like getting in and out of a video game; everything is programmed already.

It all started when I met this woman from Taiwan in graduate school in 2006 in Texas. We dated with sparks and had attractions for each other. We knew each of us was not perfect, but hey, human beings aren’t perfect! So we travelled to New York City to get the marriage certificate in the city hall because her parent’s conservative Christian church thought it was too quick for a couple who just knew each other for 3 months to get married. But I liked her and needed a Green Card to stay in the country. So she was perfect for me. Soon after, the shallow attraction disappeared and she thought she made a big mistake and became deeply depressed to the extent that she couldn’t get off bed in the morning although she was physically fine. The problem is all mental, just like other parts of our lives.

As I said, we were both imperfect so the affection soon reached an end and we were separated before I moved from Dallas to LA to pursue a new life. I hoped miracles could happen in LA to make me happy because even miraculous movies like Transformers are made here. Unfortunately, that didn’t work either despite the sunshine and beach and glamorous entertainment industry.  

Lately I am actually amazed by how low my life has become and how quickly that deterioration happened.

Exactly what happened?

Just exactly what happened?