Another word to put on the 'scratch out' list (delete list, I suppose). "Some" - really, what a marshmallow word.
Alas, the conversation of the two principles is too humourous. They one-up each other at the expense of the plot.
BIG plot blooper which is introduced then used much later.Went past it twice wondering what was wrong. Will now fix.
Moving and re-arranging ten lines of dialogue has taken an hour. It's so much easier writing when they just talk.
SEX sex sex is what's happening now in the thriller. The genre (to my eye) does not want descriptions too explicit.
"Down" and "up". I use this directional indicator where no possible other direction of the motion can be made. Edit!
Rather nifty sex scene interrupted because Louie "has to go". And they say a dog is man's best friend. Pah!
I have the fault of using modifiers to dampen the action of a scene. I'm my own worst enemy at times.
The sex scene is done. It was good for me.
My good guy's 'Blackberry' has turned into a 'Nexus One' during the novel. Will this still be state-of-the-art?