BUT WHAT'S YOUR REAL JOB?
Rodes Fishburne list of the top ten questions a novelist can expect to hear on his or her book tour, based on his experiences visiting bookstores to read from his debut novel, Going to See the Elephant.
- Is your novel fiction or non-fiction?
- Can you make it out to "Dear blank"? It'll sell for more on Ebay that way.
- Do you know when my bookmobile's getting a copy?
- Do you have Stephanie Meyer's email address?
- Really, really loved your novel, can you read my manuscript? By Friday?
If you've been on a book tour but haven't heard any of those, perhaps the next five will seem familiar...
- Do you have John Grisham's cell number?
- My mother's a big reader. I'm more into taxidermy!
- If I read your book with clean hands can I return it for a full refund?
- Have you read The Karl Lagerfeld Diet? Now that was a great book.
- Can you just tell me what happens? I'm pressed for time.
Keywords:
About Dale
I owe my life to Hitler, though I never met the man. My father was paid to stop Hitler, so there is no conflict of interest. I was given a thunk on the back o' the head by God when I was fifteen, and within a week began to write. I haven't stopped. My first...
Connections
Ah, the pain ...
So very true!
My personal favourites so far are:
1. When a woman at my workplace said she wondered if my books would sell on eBay for 5p or if I thought she might be pricing them too high
2. When a member of my work writing group "bought" my second collection of poetry, promised me the money later, but eventually simply returned the book, saying she'd read it and loved it, but hadn't turned any pages down and I could therefore have it back now.
I was too gobsmacked (and devastated!!) by both incidents to raise any objections!!
==:O
Axxx
Keeping it in the family...
My mother-in-law said, when referring to my writing exploits, 'Oh that's nice, a woman should have a hobby.'
When responding to my husband, who had just told her I was feeling tired, she said 'I'm sure YOU are more tired though... you do REAL work.'
I don't need to go to signings to be undervalued...
And Kicking
It isn't so much the questions (the favourite being "Where did you get your ideas?" - and, if I ever started to describe that dark and deep lagoon . . . ) but the fact that I have been mistaken for two different dead authors.
"Oh, you're DEAD Author."
"Nope, he's been dead - and many a long year."
"You look just like him."
Before and not after, hope I.
'...but the fact that I have
'...but the fact that I have been mistaken for two different dead authors.'
But are we talking good looking dead authors (when they were alive of course)?
Post Mortem - Not So Much
The obvious answer is "yes". And hearty. And brilliant.