where the writers are
Authors Are Boring And Evil
Not yet a movie . . .

Not that there is ever any doubt to this, but the movie Limitless exposes the fact in minute detail.

I once had the brilliant idea of writing a TV sitcom based on a Creative Writing class, or maybe an MFA programme. A slew of quirky wannabe writers with their quirky stories to tell. Maybe dramatise some of their stories and poems. Always with a pithy kernel of "truth" to show how basically wonderful and observant each writer was. These days I would put in some dancing numbers. I believe there even was such a sitcom tried twenty or so years ago. Lasted half a season. But - in reality - the camera panning the moving hand for hours on end is sludge compared to paint drying.

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The Writers of Hollywood

 by Jennie Yabroff

Bradley Cooper as Eddie Morra.


Early in the movie Limitless, we follow protagonist Eddie Morra as he shuffles aimlessly down a street in New York’s Chinatown. Observed from a distance, Eddie barely registers onscreen. He has a scraggly ponytail and a beat-up jacket. One hand is wrapped in grubby surgical tape. His attitude is at once hostile and cowering. He could probably use a shave, a shower, and a sandwich, but something more is wrong, something fundamental about Eddie himself. In voice-over, Eddie uses his career to explain his unsavory appearance: “What kind of guy without a drug or alcohol problem looks this way? Only a writer.”

In movies, writers are only slightly less morally repugnant than serial killers (unless the writer is a serial killer). According to Hollywood, writers are either parasites (Deconstructing Harry, Barton Fink, Capote, Misery); perverts (The Squid and the Whale, Adaptation, Wonder Boys, American Splendor); addicts (Permanent Midnight, Barfly, Leaving Las Vegas, Sideways), or sociopaths (La Piscine, Deathtrap, The Shining). They have monstrous egos and tiny, wizened hearts. Their moral compasses are permanently cracked; their personal relationships are cynically contrived to produce “experience,” which they feed to the insatiable maw of their craft. They are creatively constipated. They practice poor personal hygiene. They are not lovely to look at. It almost goes without saying that they are almost always male.