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Apparently This Is Satire About Author Readings From The Onion
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However, I can tell ya tales which will curl your hair or make ya bald - people are different. There was the time when I was one of two authors for an audience of one.  Since we were paid for the hour, an hour we gave. And then took questions. At least we did not have to point and say "you".  Although the questions asked were, well, a bit 'off', I generously attribute this to the fact the audience member hoped to also be a 'writer'.

Then there was the time at Christmas when I read at The Nutcracker Tea at an Art Gallery. Yes, the event was appropriately named. Three people were present at the standing room only event (standing room because there were no chairs). Yes, there were plenty of children about. They constantly ran past veritably steeped in a sugar high.

And then there was the time  . . .


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Author Promoting Book Gives It Her All Whether It's Just 3 People Or A Crowd Of 9 People

CINCINNATI—Shortly before her reading Tuesday at local bookstore Word Mentality, author Francine Massey told reporters that she does her absolute best for everyone who comes out to see her, whether it's just three people or a much larger crowd of nine people.

Massey says a small group of two or three deserves as good a reading as a buzzing crowd of nine.

Massey, on hand to promote her novel A Lighthouse Keeper, said that with publishing houses slashing their marketing budgets, it often falls to writers themselves to make the most of every reading opportunity, from cozy gatherings of just a few fans at smaller booksellers to major events at chain stores that can draw upwards of 10 people.

"I have to remember that even if just one person shows up, he deserves the same passion and enthusiasm I would give to a big group of seven people or eight people," said Massey, watching as a bookstore employee began setting up rows of folding chairs. "You just have to remind yourself that you're not going to be able to pack the room with half a dozen fans every time."

"I've learned it's best to set your expectations lower and be pleasantly surprised when almost half a row is filled," Massey said.

While she acknowledged it would be wonderful if seven people attended her upcoming reading, the author noted that it's important to be realistic, and to be able to adapt a reading to whatever circumstances present themselves.