This is today's post from my blog, The Sophia Project, which can be found at: http://drcyndibriggs.wordpress.com/
About a year ago while in Guatemala, I heard a little voice. Not a slightly scary, telling-me-to-do-bad-things sort of voice. But a quiet, divinely-inspired sort of voice.
It happened while our group of 12 played cards after a long day of volunteer work. We sat in the common space of our dormitory, the rain falling torrentially outside. I had a hot mug of tea and a good hand and was warmed both by the beverage and by the love of the people around me.
“You need more of this…” the voice whispered.
After three years of living in a city that simply didn’t fit my personality, where I struggled to find community, I knew the voice was right. But reason quickly came crashing in, reminding me of my good job (“with great benefits!”). How could I leave?
Last fall, the voice grew louder as loneliness set in and the snow flew over Minnesota. Each time I visited my family in North Carolina or friends in Oregon, I was struck dumb by how surprising it was to be surrounded with love and support.
These are not things that should be missing from a person’s life, I’m just sayin’. And they were missing from my life in Rochester.
This spring, the voice grew persistent, louder, clearer.
Get on with it, girl. You need to move. Quit your job, go back to North Carolina. C’mon, don’t you trust me?
Yes, that’s right. The small, still voice of my inner divine had grown sassy. And when you start to hear sassy, best get a move on before all hell breaks loose.
So I did the deed: I quit my full-time job, lined up some part-time work, found an inexpensive rental house in NC, and took a good, hard look at my budget. I heeded the voice, I followed the call.
But here’s what I want you to really understand about the voice and the following that happens after: it’s inconvenient. Terribly. It’s frequently messy. It can even be kind of annoying, like when your mom gives you advice and you know she’s right but you don’t want to admit it.
Following your own still small voice, following your calling, does not happen on your schedule, within the parameters of your comfort zone, or in any way that makes logical sense.
The divine doesn’t give a good goddam about logic or calendars.
Get this: I’m one year away from tenure and promotion. I’ve finally got a solid retirement package. I have fabulous health insurance. And, after years of grad student and new faculty poverty, I’m comfortable financially.
So it’s with some reluctance that I walk away from this perceived security into a life that frankly has no clear direction.
But with each passing day, my resolve grows, as does my joy and peace around my decision. I know without an ounce of doubt that I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing.
I am walking away from a fancy academic life, from big professional conferences and academic writing. I’m walking away from job security and a modicum of prestige. I’m walking into a vast unknown.
This decision is disrupting some relationships, taking me from a house I love, moving me from students who I care deeply for. And I have to pack boxes. Again. Sigh.
Inconvenient. Messy. A bit exhausting.
And worth it? Absolutely.
So, now it’s your turn. What do you hear from your still, small voice? What calling is calling out to you right now? What are you ignoring, and what price are you paying for it?
Let the voice speak. It only has your best interests at heart.
And peace to you on your journey.
Causes Cyndi Briggs Supports
Common Hope, As Green as it Gets