Some people say you should never look back, but Kara soon realized that sometimes, you have to look back so you can move forward.
After over fifteen years of silence, anguish filling her heart and the fear of insanity gripping her soul, the mystery that plagued her was explained by an understanding smile and a statement she would never forget, "My sweet child, you're not crazy! You are channeling!" Kara's Grandmother took her by the hands, and pulled her close so she could look directly into Kara's face. Nana's faded blue eyes, framed by the years that aged her, bore into Kara's as she continued, "And you got that gift from me. When was the first time you received a message?"
Kara clearly remembered the first message she received. It had haunted her from the moment it had happened. She was riding in the back of her parents' white Chevy Caprice, smiling as they sang along to "American Pie" on their long, four hour journey to her grandmother's house. The warm wind rushed into the windows, blowing her Barbie's hair in every direction, and she quickly gathered it into a loose ponytail and held it to her chest. She looked out of the window and became immersed in the beauty that surrounded her. Even at five years of age, she knew that nothing could bring her more peace and tranquility, than sunlight filtering through a canopy of trees. The woods were alive in the midst of summer. Ferns blanketed the ground and a deer even caught her eye.
Then, for no reason she could understand, the peace she felt was shattered and a chill ran up her spine. A voice, her voice, yet not her own, spoke to her in her mind and stated simply, "There's a dead body in the woods."
She jumped and turned her gaze to the front of the car, where her parents were still singing carefree and happy, and that's when she saw them. A pair of old, red Converses, their shoe strings tied together, their soles worn and dirty, thrown over an electric wire that crossed the road. Kara watched as they dangled in the wind and the voice spoke again, "The murderer left a sign."
The shock of the statements stunned her and she could not speak. Fear overcame her tiny body, and she shook, but she still refused to say a thing. She once heard her parents talking about people hearing voices in their heads and they said they were crazy. She didn't want them to think she was crazy, too.
Later that weekend, the memory of the voice still present in her mind, Kara ran into her Grandmother's living room to get her doll for a walk. The television had been left on and a news report caught her attention. The body of a young boy was found in a wooded area off a highway two hours away. His Converse shoes were found dangling off an electric wire near by.
Fifteen years later, tears erupted from her eyes as she told her Grandma the story. "I never told a soul," Kara cried, "I thought I was crazy. So many times, I've received messages, and I pushed them away in fear that I was going insane."
Her Grandmother's soft fingers gently wiped the tears off her face, and she smiled, "I'm so happy you finally told me this. Now, that I know, I can help you and we can move forward together, with this gift," she chuckled, "that can also be a curse."
Kara smiled back and realized that she should have told someone sooner. She should have known that there was someone that knew exactly what she was going through...the voice had told her that, too.
Causes Courtney Filigenzi Supports
American Cancer Society
Army of Women