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Time to wake up and smell the coffee

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Time to wake up and smell the coffee

Remember the old song, "You're the cream in my coffee"? I'm singing it again. Not the skim milk in my coffee, or the soy in my coffee, or half and half, but the old-fashioned cream -- because from now on I'm going to stop listening to experts telling me about all the foods that are bad for me and eat what I like. In moderation of course. Everything in moderation. Didn't we all grow up with that old adage? You know, it's a good one.

One of the advantages of writing a blog is that you sift through a lot of material, and you learn a lot. So today I came across an article called "The Coffee Controversy: Decoded" (www.thirdage.com), and I learned that coffee does not lead to heart attacks, as was formerly thought, but actually reduces the risk of developing heart attacks and hypertension. Also, coffee protects the brain cells that lead to Parkinson's disease. My grandfather and cousin had Parkinson's, so with what I've been learning about the family history as being the best source of genetic information, I am now going to have a second cup of coffee in the morning. Even if my hand shakes as a result. (That's not a joke -- if I have too much caffeine, my hand shakes.)

But here's the best! Coffee can reduce the chances of developing Type II diabetes. Now why didn't I know that before I actually got Type II diabetes? I would have had a third cup of coffee every morning even if it retains the water in my body and elevates my blood sugar (apparently now a myth). And all these years, "they" have been telling us that too much coffee can damage the body.

Come to think of it, the same "they" told us not to have eggs in order to avoid high cholesterol. Turns out that eggs are good for you, just have them, that's right, in "moderation," and don't fry them in butter. Also, if you take statins, you can't have grapefruit. Heard that one? Actually you would have to have a quart of grapefruit juice to really make a difference. So, if you take your statin pill in the morning, you can have a half a grapefruit occasionally in the evening and vice versa. No, I didn't read this anywhere; my doctor told me so.

By the way, before you take any of the advice I've just listed, please consult your doctor. If you do take this advice, it's at your own risk. I'm telling you this because this is America and people sue you at the drop of an egg shell. Or a glass of wine.

I'm just having fun, folks. It's been a stressful week reading all those headlines. One of my cleverest friends insists that the biggest problem with our health system is that we all read too much. If we didn't read, or listen to what the media has to say, he claims, we wouldn't know all the things that might go wrong with us. Oops, back to the cave. But have some chocolates handy in case of emergency.

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I'll drink to that!

I just love it when the new studies validate my vices. Let there be coffee (3 bowl-size cups of it) for all! What? Bowls do not constitute moderation? Dang! Perhaps there will be another study soon.

Sending you a virtual 3rd cup (okay, bowl), Corinne...



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Now that you've sent me a virtual big bowl of coffee, I don't believe you have any vices at all. Incidentally, I come originally from Montreal, where cafe au lait is usually served in bowls in fun restaurants. It's much like caffe latte, but often with gobs of whipped cream, shaved chocolate, and cinnamon, if desired, on top. So I'm sending a bowl or two of Quebec cafe au lait to you!

So nice to connect with you.


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There's a wonderful 50's style diner in my town

Right on the menu they advertise boldly: WE COOK WITH GENUINE LARD.

I love it. Of course, I don't eat there every day, but if I've been a good boy for a few weeks, I'll treat myself to a lard marinated buffalo burger and a genuine chocolate malt.

And anyone who knows beans about beans knows that authentic Mexican refried beans MUST be cooked in lard. Anything else is an abomination. :)


Coffee, coffee, in my veins,

Stimulate this writers' brains,

Course right through my ev'ry artery

Make my vers more terse and smartery

By the teacup, by the mug,

Inspiration by the jug

Is it madness? Do I sorta

Feel a throb in my aorta?

No, 'tis nothing; just a twinge,

Time to start another binge.


Drink up!



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Hi Eric,

You have won my heart with your poetry! Thanks for for the tip on diners that cook with lard. I'll try to avoid them only most of the time. Nice to connect with you. I'll check out your web site. If you have a chance, please take a look at my website: www.cryokid.com.