I’ve had a strange week. Thanks to a minor accident on Tuesday I’ve been walking around with a concussion and let me tell you that really changes your perspective on life. It will also make you do crazy things.
For instance, the other morning I was awakened at the crack of noon by some Jehovah’s Witnesses. Normal me would have ignored the doorbell and gone about my business. Concussed me opened the door. We had a nice conversation about religion and how the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I happily accepted their literature. I told them all about my religious beliefs, in great detail, and how I was worried about the world. In fact I must have talked a lot because at one point they were slowly backing away from my door. Somehow in my foggy state I had out talked two Jehovah’s Witnesses. I doubt they’ll ever bother me again so a concussion can have a positive side!
I went to my doctor after the accident and he, of course, told me to take it easy and get some rest which I did for the first two days. At least I think he did. My memory is a little fuzzy right now and for all I know he could have said he couldn’t tell a big difference in Concussion Cindy and Normal Cindy. But, I had no choice but to rest because my head felt like someone was pounding on it with a large hammer. I also couldn’t turn it without getting dizzy and nauseous and truly felt like death. The third day after my accident I was going crazy and had to get out of the house so of course I went to Walmart. If you think Walmart is strange when you’re in your right mind, try going when you have a concussion.
My first mistake was driving myself to the store. (Don’t tell my doctor) Normal me generally follows the posted speed limits. Concussed me has a lead foot. There were a couple of times when I wondered why everyone was driving so slow. Then I’d look at my speedometer and was surprised to see I was going about twenty mph over the speed limit. Let’s just say I got to Walmart in record time. The first thing I noticed in Walmart is, fluorescent lights and concussions do not go together. Walmart has a lot of fluorescent lights and it seemed like they had been turned on extra bright. I squinted my eyes and headed for my favorite department which is the electronics department. Last week I bought my first iPhone and had now decided I needed a protective case. Not only had I decided I needed one, it had become a quest and for some reason I felt like I needed it right now! Concussed me is talkative and impatient! A group of us had a nice conversation around the iPhone cases, with me leading the conversation, and I think I told one of the electronics sales people the cases were cheaper on Amazon. Of course that led to a discussion about how Walmart is no longer selling the Amazon Kindle. I was very upset about this. I’m not sure why because I have no intention of buying a Kindle right now but if I ever do I would like to know that I could buy it at Walmart. I think I said something about it being my “Right!“ to buy a Kindle at Walmart. The salesman patted me on the shoulder and pointed out they still sell them at Best Buy which made me feel a little better. We both agreed that Amazon was cutting it’s own throat by not offering them at Walmart and I left without buying anything.
Logically I should have gone home. Instead I headed across the road to Kmart. Their selection of cases was slim so I wandered to the back of the store where I ran into a display of………Christmas Trees and decorations. Even concussed me knows it’s still only September so I couldn’t understand why they would already be on display. I have a general rule where I refuse to look at Christmas displays and decorations before Halloween. However, for some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off them this time. It’s too bad the Jehovah’s Witness ladies weren’t there to enjoy them with me! Assuming they believe in Christmas lights. I know they don’t believe in birthday parties. If not I’m sure I could talk them into it.
I finally ended up at the mall where I found a case for my iPhone. The nice Indian man at the kiosk put it on my phone, charged me thirty dollars, and told me to have a nice day. Despite my best efforts, he wasn’t much of a talker.
During my career as an emergency room nurse, I’ve taken care of a lot of people with concussions. I’m great at giving out instructions such as rest, don’t drive, don’t operate any machinery, etc. But, like most nurses and doctors, I’m lousy at taking my own advice. If I ever go back to my nursing career I’m going to add a few more things to the instructions I give to someone with a head injury.
First of all, lock up your credit and debit cards. Normally I would never spend thirty dollars at a mall kiosk but this time it seemed like an excellent idea! However, for some odd reason, I also thought it would be okay to only put ten dollars worth of gas in the Mercury. I never do this mainly because it has a huge gas tank and ten dollars is just enough to make it mad. I would be worried about not making it to a gas station for more gas but, the Mercury was almost full when I put the ten dollars worth of gas in it. I still don’t know why I felt the need to top it off. I’m sure I had a reason but I just don’t know what it was.
Second of all, don’t answer the door. Not only did I make friends with the Jehovah’s Witness ladies, I may have reconnected with my old boyfriend who came by to see how I was doing. I won’t elaborate except to say that concussed me is friendly, if you know what I mean. I won’t say how friendly but I did get flowers the next day.
Another thing you should do with a concussion is to stay away from Facebook and blogs! In fact just stay off the internet until your brain clears up. I frequent a blog on the televisionwithoutpity.com website and got into a rather heated discussion about the TV show, “The Big Bang Theory”. I happen to like that show a lot and was highly insulted when another poster mentioned they thought it was stupid. I think I helped them to see the light. It’s hard to tell because concussed me can’t spell so I’m sure I didn’t look like an informed and intelligent person considering I constantly referred to the show as “The Big Band Theory”.
Be careful what you watch on TV. I’ve suddenly become addicted to crime shows. I watched five straight hours of a “48 Hours Mystery” marathon. I’m not sure why because normally I can’t watch graphic murder programs on TV. But, for some reason I found it fascinating this time. The problem is when you have a head injury sad programs seem even sadder than they are. I finally realized I was becoming very emotional and depressed so I tried to read a book about Mark Twain. Unfortunately my concentration was way off so I had to give up on this too.
I did read a couple of articles about people becoming musical geniuses after a concussion. In 2006 Derek Amato suffered a traumatic brain injury after diving into a swimming pool. A few days later he was visiting a friend and felt drawn to a piano. He sat down and was able to play like a professional even though he had never had any musical training. I picked up my guitar, violin, and sat down at my own piano and found, unfortunately, I still couldn’t play any of them. At least not well enough that anyone would be willing to sit and listen to me play. Maybe I didn’t hit my head hard enough. It hasn’t enhanced my drawing ability either. I was able to answer a Final Jeopardy question though so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
It’s been five days since my accident and I’m feeling a lot better. I feel like my brain is almost finished re-booting itself and hopefully I’ll be back to my old self in the next few days. My memory still has some gaps but they’re slowly closing in. The most important thing I can say here is to protect your head. I’m seriously thinking about wearing a helmet anytime I’m awake and moving around. Now if you’ll excuse me “Prison Wives” is on and I haven’t seen this episode.