where the writers are
LHM (Lord Help Me)

TYVM for reading my current blog post.  A lot of people say I give out TMI sometimes.  Maybe it’s because they try to RBTL.  J/K!  If you feel this way well it STBY! *WEG*  BRB, AFK.  BTW, IMHO, DBEYR.   FUD are everywhere IRL IIRC.  YMMV. BTW, FUD WBAGNFARB, NTTAWWT IYCMDAITYD.  LOL!  XOXOXO. Cindy

A little confused about that opening paragraph?  Join the club.  It took me almost an hour to find those acronyms and then put them into sentences.  Needless to say my spelling and grammar program went nuts.  Let me translate it for you.

Thank you very much for reading my current blog post.  A lot of people say I give out too much information sometimes.  Maybe it’s because they try to read between the lines.  Just kidding!  If you feel this way well it sucks to be you.  Wicked evil grin.  Be right back, away from keyboard.  By the way, in my humble opinion, don’t believe everything you read.  Fear, uncertainty, and disinformation are everywhere in real life if I recall correctly.  Your mileage may vary.  By the way, fear, uncertainty, and disinformation would be a good name for a rock band, not that there’s anything wrong with that if you catch my drift and I think you do.  Laugh out loud! Hugs and kisses.

I wrote that to point out a major problem I’m having right now. I can’t understand a word of anything I read these days on comments or blogs.  I asked my usual research group, the Dave Barry Bloggers, if they feel the same way I do about all of this and not surprisingly most of them did.  A few others answered my question with their own abbreviations which I need to look up one of these days.  Thanks a lot guys.  Then someone questioned why anyone would need thirty-five boxes of butter complete with a picture of the butter in a shopping cart.  We often change the subject on our Facebook posts so I wasn’t really surprised by this.   I’m still trying to figure out why anyone would need that much butter.  IDK.  Maybe the cart belonged to Paula Deen.    But I digress.

I really started thinking about all of this the other day after I caught myself saying, “OMG”.  I have absolutely no idea why I said that particular abbreviation but it scared me.  I’ve always loved language.  There are so many beautiful, descriptive words in the English language that I’ve often wondered why some people feel the need to use “dirty” words to describe anything.  I think it’s because we’ve all become lazy with our speech and our writing.  Some people still think they’re being original or shocking when they use a four letter word to describe an event or a person.  I’m more shocked when they use a beautiful,  descriptive phrase.  Can you imagine the reactions Shakespeare would have gotten if he had written the following scene?

Hey Romeo!  Where the **** are you?  Change your name or I will.  LOL.

It just doesn’t have the same impact does it?  I’ve always loved Shakespeare and I truly believe he was the master of descriptive phrases.  I’m not sure you would see any of today’s writers coming up with anything as beautiful as this.

She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.

Why write something that wordy when it’s just so much easier to write.

Say what Juliet?  Looking good baby!

I think I’ll stick with Shakespeare’s version.  I did a little survey the other day to see if some of today’s younger people had any thoughts on what I consider great literature.  I asked a few teenagers that I know for their opinion on John Milton’s Paradise Lost, Dante’s Inferno, the poetry of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Agatha Christie.  I figured Agatha Christie would be an easy one but sadly none of them knew anything about her or her wonderful characters Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot.  Then I asked them what they thought about Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber.  Of course they knew all about them and were still talking when I left.  I wanted to cry.  When I described the plot of “Paradise Lost” a couple of them said they would like to see the movie.  I really can’t blame them though.  Why sit down and read a book when you have cellphones, computers, TV, movies, and gaming systems competing for your attention?  My kids are aware of the above authors because I use to read some of their works to them and then we would discuss what we thought about them.  I doubt many parents do that anymore.  They’re too busy updating their Facebook status and looking at cat videos on YouTube.  Now get off my lawn!

But again, I digress.  After I said “OMG” I decided I was going to watch my own speech from now on.  Sure it sounds good to say “you are a human being who has reached the lowest possible points on an intelligence scale” but for some reason just calling someone a f****** moron when they cut me off in traffic makes me feel better.  It also gives me more time to yell helpful driving tips to other motorists.  I’m really good at that too.  In fact I’m so good at it I’m surprised no one has ever punched my lights out.  Then they could go home and text their friends about the incident.  Of course they would end the text with ROFLMAO.   Whenever I see that particular abbreviation I wonder if anyone has ever actually rolled on the floor and laughed their a** off.  I’ve laughed so hard that my sides hurt but I don’t think I’ve ever done it while rolling around on the floor and that part of my anatomy is definitely not going anywhere anytime soon. 

Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve G2G look up the acronyms given to me by my research group.  Until then,  GBH and GBKU.  L8R!

Postscript:  I had to edit this after it was pointed out that I had messed up a few abbreviations.  Thanks to blogits Amy and Becky for pointing these out.  You may also be interested to know that we have quit discussing butter and are now trying to figure out how to make bacon kosher.