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Christiane Wells's Blog

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Sep.09.2010
From my earliest memories, I've loved books. They were to be treated kindly and appreciated. My mom used to take me to the library on a regular basis when I was growing up. I can smell the children’s section of Milford Library right now. I can feel the maximum limit of books allowed to be checked...
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Sep.09.2010
Recently I put the link to the first chapter of Magical Shrinking on this site, but removed it because I wasn't certain if people were interested. Since I received a comment from someone asking where the link went, I'm going to put it back up!  http://www.christianewells.com/ch1 This is the...
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Sep.08.2010
Mommy and Jack
I could be a much better mom to Jack. I’m aware of this, and while I don’t like it, I think it’s something I need to admit. He deserves for me to continue working toward being a better parent to him, and I’m doing it. Bipolar disorder complicates every aspect of my life. I don’t have stable moods...
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Sep.07.2010
What’s it like to be behind a locked door, admitted for psychiatric treatment? I’ll never forget the feeling I had the first time I was behind the door. It looked so innocent, just a door with a window in an emergency room. If there wasn’t a sign on it that said “Elopement Risk” you’d never know...
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Sep.06.2010
It’s really only a controversy in my head right now. When I was younger and went through drug/alcohol treatment (seemingly a million times), they taught us that only total abstinence is acceptable. If you were addicted to one thing, you were addicted to everything. It would never again be okay to...
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Sep.05.2010
Last night I was working on the part of the book about my time at Kansas State University and it triggered me. It triggered the feelings of loss and failure that came from the experience, and also the period of darkness in my life that followed it. I got two tattoos when I was at Kansas State....
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Sep.05.2010
My story is true. One of Jason’s aunts has read the book and emailed me about it, asking what to say to people who don’t believe my story. I’ve been waiting so long for this. Because it’s honestly a rational response to think my story is hard to believe. It is hard to believe. Just read the review...
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Sep.04.2010
There’s something sad about feeling different around people who don’t know about your “invisible illness.” Bipolar disorder is an invisible illness because it isn’t obvious, you can’t see it, and no one would ever guess that I am on Social Security. When is this feeling worst? Places like daycare...
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Sep.03.2010
  From my journal:  June 23, 1998  (25 yrs old) I talked to Walt about being a prophet and feeling that I’m not bipolar and that sometimes I think he’s making it up, and drugging me to keep me from achieving my purpose. Basically I just told him the truth. He said this is part of my illness...
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Sep.02.2010
I’m going to a series on parenting with bipolar disorder. This is my first entry, appropriately dealing with pregnancy and postpartum depression. It’s a very serious issue that can benefit many women struggling with the many complications of having a child when you have bipolar disorder.  I had...
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Sep.02.2010
There is an elaborate coping mechanism I created as a child which has been a part of my life for the past 29 or so years. In Magical Shrinking I use the phrase Alternate Universe (AU) to describe this phenomenon. In essence, when I was roughly 9 years old, I created a world in my head that became...
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Sep.01.2010
I’d like to hit on issues I’ve dealt with that are in Magical Shrinking other than bipolar disorder and addiction. It’s almost ridiculous when you’re reading the book (as I’m doing right now with my revision) and see how many issues I’ve grappled with over my lifetime. For example, who knew I had...
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Aug.31.2010
Lately I’ve gotten many comments from friends, family, and strangers alike about how open and honest I am about my life. That it’s courageous, and I’m brave. My first reaction is to wave that off and say it isn’t that I’m brave. When I started writing Magical Shrinking it didn’t occur to me that...
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