where the writers are

Chris Rodell's Blog

RSSSyndicate content
Sep.11.2013
  (782 words) I was upstairs with a mouthful of bedtime toothpaste when my wife shrieked there was a huge cricket in the basement. I finished brushing, spit, looked up in the mirror and thought, man, this will be really cool if that huge cricket turns out to be Buddy Holly. The Texan was said...
Continue Reading »
Sep.09.2013
900 words It was 9 p.m. Sunday and Val and I were sitting down to watch the fourth to last episode of “Breaking Bad,” the AMC show that is dividing America. The half of us who are watching can’t quit talking about what we believe is the best TV show ever; the half that couldn’t care less wishes...
Continue Reading » 5 comments
Sep.06.2013
(819 words) I plan on spending the next few months or so seeing if I can find a friendly 25 year old eager to spend time with me. We’ll squander hours in the bar giggling and yapping about all sorts of things. And, sorry ladies, but my new buddy has got to be a guy. I abide by the matrimonial...
Continue Reading »
Sep.04.2013
(708 words) I dreamed last night I was at my articulate best as I addressed for hours on end acres and acres of highly attentive corn that hung on my every word. Yes, the audience was all ears. I say that’s a contender for the corniest pun ever. Right now many of you are probably thinking of the...
Continue Reading »
Sep.03.2013
(717 words) It was early morning last Thursday and I’d already said “Hey!” to three familiars at the local convenience mart before I’d even peeled my breakfast banana.   It promised to be a real heyday.   And so it was. Everywhere I went I saw someone I knew. I saw plumbers, postal...
Continue Reading »
Sep.02.2013
(589 words) If anyone thinks by blogging on Labor Day I’m engaging in actual labor they know even less about blogging than they do about labor. About the only things farther from labor than blogging involve sex and sleeping -- and as soon as I learn how to comfortably blog while lying flat on my...
Continue Reading »
Aug.31.2013
  I was watching The Stooges in “Calling All Curs” with our daughters the other day. In it Moe, Larry and Curly sit down for an elegant dinner with about a dozen mutts. Mayhem ensues -- but not among the dogs all exhibit refined table manners. I don’t know how they did it, but I assume it...
Continue Reading » 2 comments
Aug.30.2013
(679 words) The title credits had not yet concluded when we heard the telltale sound that alerted us we were sharing the theater with people who had no respect for the rules. Ka-plush! The nerve. Someone had smuggled beers into the matinee viewing of “The World’s End,” the new Simon Pegg, Nick...
Continue Reading » 1 comment
Aug.28.2013
(747 words) Two days later and still today most of America’s moral scolds are fretting over what we as a nation are going to do about that hussy, Miley Cyrus. Something tells me a really good spanking might backfire. It dismays me that so many are still talking about Cyrus’s lewd antics instead of...
Continue Reading »
Aug.27.2013
(1,058 words) We were in the midst of the gaudy sensory overload known as the Westmoreland County Fair when my wife surprised me with a career suggestion. She thinks I should write a book about the summer I ran away with the carnival. I was surprised for two reasons: One, her career suggestion...
Continue Reading » 3 comments
Aug.26.2013
(699 words) Dang! Looks like my “Good Morning America” segment promoting my book got bumped. And why not? Who wouldn’t rather see home videos of George Stephanopoulus’s tweener daughters riding in the back of a limo and giggling about attending the VMA’s? Still, I was disappointed. The segment was...
Continue Reading »
Aug.23.2013
  (884 words) I find it commendable when people are able to resist commenting on the love lives of celebrity strangers. We’d all be better off if such pointless, petty gossip were reduced. And if you agree with me then I suggest you stop reading right now, because I’m about to wallow in it. I...
Continue Reading »
Aug.21.2013
  (849 words) I’m happy to oblige the several people who weren’t there and were eager to hear a jiffy recap about what happened Friday when Golf Channel came to The Pond to film us telling stories about native son Arnold Palmer. Friends wanted to know if it was fun. Did it go well? Did anyone...
Continue Reading »
Aug.19.2013
  (656 words) I guess it got my attention when the girls started including in their dinner grace a prayer to God that their daddy would start being nicer to the stupid dog. It’s fair to conclude I’ve hated the dog ever since at least Oct. 2010 when I wrote this post I headlined, “I hate my...
Continue Reading »
Aug.15.2013
(704 words) Friday night at The Pond promises to be either one of the best or one of the worst nights in the bar’s 59-year history. And one way or the other, a disproportionate share of the glory or the blame will likely fall on me. That’s because on Friday at 5 p.m., producers from The Golf...
Continue Reading »